Aerosmith

Thai do love their pink, i mean REALLY love them.

Pink Gazebo on a VERY hot day.

Pink Bench for your ass.

All pink building, oh gosh..

ALL PINK internet cafe, this is DA BOMB, 30 minutes in this, MY EYES LITERALLY HURT. Business idea fail!! FAIL! at least i hope it fails, damn.

Pink license plate, with Hello Kitty, UGH!

Pink Taxis?? WTH!

Pink BUS??!?!?!

PINK TOYOTA TAXI???

Pink fashion sense?!? (quite rampant in thailand)

Pink bicycle helmet?? This is getting worse by the picture!

l

Oh gosh, pink atm??? GIMME A BREAK! Withdrawing money also is pinkish, i surrender, you win! Dammit! YOU WIN THIS TIME!

Chasing The Wind

Yesterday, someone took me out for lunch, trying to understand and help me, prayed, and then told me that the seed within me was wrinkled and dried up, that i need to reach out to God.

It struck me that it's been this way for a very long time.

I tried returning, and yes, it helped, the thai mission trip, it helped too, but it didn't penetrate the core. I deceived myself by thinking i was returning by going to church, having theological debates. Those helped me see God a lil, but i was too far to touch Him.

Don't understand why. Sometimes i understand why some people refused to believe in Christianity, why some of them seem so adamant bout remaining anything but a Christian. But i don't know how to tell them anymore, that that is not the way to live.

I have the knowledge, not the passion.

Everything seems like it has lost its significance.

I used to see the world as exciting and colorful, now just desert upon desert. Not to say being emotional about it or anything. It just seems that i lost purpose in life. I very well know i could and would go work, get some cash, help the needy, bless my family, go travel and what not, but in the end, i just don't see where it all fits in with the moving world.

I feel like a walking ghost amongst the world, at home, i just do what i should do, and that's it. Conversations never go beyond "Any clothes to wash?" or "had lunch yet?"

Eye contact never go beyond the surface.

Amongst others, i'm there but not there. i enjoy the company, but after nightfall, i felt nothing.

I have no motivation to penetrate into groups anymore, no joy in trying to fit in, no care if i just go and leave.

What should matter doesn't, what shouldn't does.

I lie awake sometimes wondering what am i doing.

Sometimes i think i try too hard too much, or i don't at all.

There is no constant anymore, just waves.

I wish this was an emo post and that it is a phase.

If it really is, it is a very very long phase.

-Fastball-

Comments

Statements or comments directed to me while in Thailand (may not be quoted word for word):

"You got nice long silky hair"

"You've gained weight"

"No finding of thai wife during the trip"

"Learn how to dress up like them"

What would have been better would be:

"You are the most handsome m'sian i've ever seen"

"I wanna marry you"

"You probably taste as good as thai green curry"

"I wish you were here during songkran, wet...mmmm"

"You have more variety in you than all floating market combined"

"if you were here, tuk-tuk would be ***censored***"

Ok, with that, i probably should end, thailand, give more positive comments please! I come again soon, buck up!

-English Phail-

Dear Lord,

Keep my family in prayer.

With the new addition, mom has been stressed, for she has extra things to do.

Apart from that, there are others too.

Family needs prayer, will you, pray with me?

-Art In Heaven-

Hanging By A Moment

-Almost Complete-

This Is A Sketch

Another morning another day of classes.

The Thailand self-organized mission trip (wasn't self self, more of friend herself organized, thus the self) was good, learned a lot, maybe too much.

If i could just put my mind to it, i would put up posts here and there talking about it. Just not today.

If you all didn't know already, sister had a baby.

Amazing thing was, we didn't find out till after the baby was delivered.

How could that had happened? Well, i guess you just gotta come visit the baby, buy some gifts (Seriously we just need pampers) and we will tell you this tale, of course, alternatively just direct thy questions to me, my mom or sis.

But all in all, i guess i kinda failed as a brother, why did i not noticed she had a baby for that long?

Why was i ignorant? Why was I such a dick to my sister?

So many questions, no time to turn back.

What can i say? maybe i wrapped myself in my own world and problems and i decided to interpret everything i see and hear as what i want them to be.

I never ask her anything, she never tell. Since when we ended up becoming such strangers tied with blood?

Odd, frustrated yet somewhat amusing.

Sometimes i think i really am wasting space in my family.

I don't contribute, i constantly just am around.

Something to ponder about.

2009 is becoming a fairly interesting year.

Interesting, exciting, discouraging all at the same time.

Life. Such it is.

-Jealous-

Nothing Good Happens After 2 a.m.

Relationships aren't my forte.

I think i always been struggling with relationships, be it with family, friends, acquaintances or the most important - God.

And sometimes i wonder why God would wired me such way.

I hardly can get close to anyone, because i believe people will disappoint, i always think i am setting up myself for disappointment, so when i do get close to someone, i tend to have thoughts that leads me to shun the person off awhile until the friendship drops into the "just friends" zone, then i'll be normal again.

Or sometimes i create unnecessary arguments just so to prove my point that humans disappoint and this ending some friendships or destroying some.

That explains my lack of close friends.

Those who have stuck me by probably learned enough to know that i can be a douche and just deal with it, and i probably fought with them one way or another =p

With God, i am just like the Israelites, taking God for granted in good times and pursuing God in bad.

In the bible, it was considered like prostitution and cheating, so that makes me a whore?

In any case, it is worth pondering that why i am like this.

Could be my family upbringing, or my past that made me so, if only i could psychoanalyze myself as well as some of my friends do.

Well, i foresee a future where i'll one day just don't care and live life.

Till then, this will be a matter of concern.

Seeing how many failed friendships, failed girl friendships and countless countless failed God relationships i've made, i decided to stick with Lost's saying, "live together, die alone"

-Ooh? Dramatic Baby G! -

The Big C

Game plan has changed!

With the new addition and my impending graduation, stepping up is a must.

Mission trip post is coming.

I just haven't sort out stuff yet.

In the meantime, semester has not bog me down yet, so got time to think of stuff.

I guess one thing to ponder about is

seriously what am i gonna do after i grad?

Work definitely, but what else?

Fall into cliches?

Man, cliche, such a cliche word.

My nephew has brought joys to the family.

His name is Gideon, though, if you ask me, i'd like to name him something else.

why wouldn't anyone ask me for possible names??

Anyway, baby G still going hospital because of prolonged jaundice, poked his baby hands till got a number of holes to test blood, poor thing!

keep him in prayer.

And the family too.

Thanks

Good Morning, World!

-What?-

I am an uncle, eat that! The pic is my nephew. Before you ask me stupid questions, google definition of nephew.

That's Right!

-I'm Back Baby!-

How Far I've Come

In 12 hours time, i will be in Bangkok, and only God knows what will I and my friends be doing there. Everything now is in God's hands, I'll be back on May 11th. This blog will be left empty till then!

So here is one last post before i fly:

I am gonna turn 23 soon, and what has happened in the past 23 years? I think i kinda wasted a lot on it on myself, as in i bothered too much about myself, when there are much needed things to attend to, things much more important than my emotions and wants, not to say its bad, but i like to allocate resources to other things.

Up to this point, i am going to graduate, with no real vision in mind what to do after that, i feel like i'm drifting, but that is not what i had 3 years ago, time changes, and sometimes i cannot keep up, i like to be a missionary, to go serve God in some place He calls me to, but with a worldview in mind, it seems, financials, family, attachment are hindering me, and now it has boil down to being: get a job, pay off loans, make comfy a life for parents, and then whatever else. When will i ever achieve anything i originally set out to do?

A good friend told me that this is where we trust God to take care of us and submit our plans to Him, but looking at my current state, will i be able to do that anytime soon?

I've fallen further away from the throne of God, i used to be many a things that is called christian, now i am just someone in this world trying to do the right thing.

How far i've come? It's a good question. Maybe i have been fed too much of what the world wants, and i conformed, maybe i am being ignorant, maybe i am being selfish, maybe i just dislike obeying God. Whatever it is, i am now here, broken relationships, distant religion, insecure, fear of the past, worries of the future.

I am sad i left my church so abruptly, even more sad the disapproving eyes i received.

I am sad that my closest friends are now an acquaintance.

I am sad that i have not the courage to amend my wrongdoings.

I am sad i am not man enough to say sorry.

But one thing i am glad, is that i am still alive, and though time is running out, there are always second chances if i take it.

Dear you,

Sorry for being a dick, disrespectful and above all, an idiot. I never took account of what you have to go through, never thought that it is sometimes forced, not by choice. Sorry i haven't said sorry, and knowing myself, probably it will be that way awhile.

Dear you,

Sorry for not letting it go, sorry that now we just say hi and bye and that i cannot tolerate a lot of things about you.

Dear you,

Thank you for sticking around, though not long i knew you, at least now we're here.

Dear God,

Sorry for ending up like this. Sorry for not living up to my name. Sorry.

Let the coming 2 weeks be a time of refreshing =)

-I Come, I Live, I Draw The Pictures In My Life-

Draw Thy Swords!

Two more days and i am off to bangkok.

But the seemingly short holidays after exams are good. Meetin

g new people, hanging out with good friends.

Getting back into the gaming groove, i lost it. After intense guitar hero-ing, i realized i slacking in playing my actual guitar, argh, all the talks of improving all tak jadi.

I wonder, why are christians the worst judge?

Sometimes living in this world, it seems the christians are the ones persecuting the christians, nay, i talk not of other places but only places i've been, lest you think me short sighted and already prejudging me.

I think, if not for a few buddies of mine sticking with me despite the different viewpoints we have, i'd already will be somewhere else.

It seems true that some people say christianity is a product of groupthink.

I like to think that christians have more brains to think for themselves than to blindly follow men made rules, yes, even church rules.

We should be shrewed, wise and thinkers, not programmable minds to just follow and blindly submit, i urge you christians to start thinking with God in mind, and not adhere to just rules and regulations that are "right" because your leaders say so, question them! Be like the bereans!

Check everything with God and His word.

I'm not perfect, but i'm no slacker either. Let the church evolve with the world, but you stay God-centered.

-Up?-

Poetic Attempt

I am a boy.

I like lots of toys.

I am not a girl.

If i was, people would go "eyeer".

I play the guitar.

Dream of being a rockstar.

Never coming true.

'Cause they say I like Abba, and thats not cool.

I got good friends.

They're like sweets in my pants.

Most of them are single.

Especially Keren, who no one wants to mingle. (BURN)

I am straight.

Stop asking! Only girls i'll date!

You want proof you say?

I like Pride and Prejudice, is that okay?

I am going to get kutuked for this post.

Especially from my 'good' friends the most.

I know my sexual orientation!

Just give it time for implementation!

Tabulated Rasa

Exams. Period.

Friend commented my blog not informative enough about how i am doing if they need a quick update.

So here it is:

Exams, before semester break, ends on next week wed. Then 4 days left before i fly to the land of elephants, supposedly to have a mission trip, but what is yet to come is yet to be made known to me, so i cannot say much of it yet, just awaiting?

Gonna come back around early May, then run my thesis research project! Then finally, almost to grad.

Life's been alright, save for a bunch of stuff going on. A friend who i see periodically in a year, came up and say, "Hey, everytime i come back, i always ask of you, and you are always going through a rough patch!" Aiks, really ah?

No wonder Rach tagged me in FB that me = drama queeen.

Not funny, but amusing. heh.

Still struggling with certain christian teachings, can't embrace it fully, but am going to church a bit more consistent now, if you were wondering. Back to my roots my current churchmembers tells me, been awhile, been awhile, more than erm, 12 years? ha.

On a another note, currently everywhere is plunged into problems and problems, the country, the church, the system, is it because i grew up, therefore i know more? Was i ignorant before? Or is it that the world is heading towards a hellhole that Jesus was talking about?

Either way, why am i still putting more interest in myself than other things in the world that are much more meaningful than i am?

Fallen nature of humanity? Or nature vs. nurture?

Bah. Questions. Ridiculous.

Let me live.

-Farscape-

Majoring!

Story from the past:

How I was a reluctant exhibitionist:

Back in the year 1995, i broke my right thigh bone while walking down the street to buy breakfast, yup, its an age old story i told a gazillion times.

So long story short, i ended up in UH (universiti hospital), now life was good, except that i was placed ina children's cancer ward, where people come and go faster than i can change my underwear. It was horrible, sound of children screaming was tiresome and gives me the nightmares.

Anyway one fine day, the doctors were bringing the interns for the usual rounds, and they came to my ward. I was bottomless, due to the enormously huge cast from my waist till the tip of my toes, so i was usually well covered.

In all randomness and humor, my dad took my blanket to wash just before the doctors came to see my condition, they definitely saw more than my conditions.

So being exposed, i was panicking, my junk was hanging, terribly uncomfortable, plus the doctors were giggling and making fun of it, ok, i don't know if they were actually laughing at it, i assume so because i repressed it already.

so was the first time i exhibit my thing, and years later, i am now very self-conscious, and if i were to draw any lessons from the event itself, it would be that i understand the usage of underwears now.

The End.

-Cold, cold heart-

Trial Ran

Thesis 1 handed up!
yay!
Exams coming, not so yay, not studying yet hehe

the older i get, the more cynical i become, the more ignorant i become.

i couldn't care less for a lot of things now which used to matter a lot to me, but rather, i care for the little things that seem insignificant, like the rain drops on my roof, the silent nights that accompanies me through my busiest time, the small walks alone down a quiet road, the sight of kids playing in the park.

Its the smallest thing that makes me realize that there is a bigger force at work, and that life in KL is too fast and furious (pantas dan garang, cinema translation), i met a guy at a party earlier, saying life back in his place was slow and laid back, people were smiley and was good, but coming here to KL was a culture shock.
When did life took a dive?

Gone are the days where we worry not what to do or where to go. Now life is a vicious brutal cycle, a bitch as some would call it.

You live to study, get a paper, work, settle down, get married, have kids, wait for them to grow up, retire and die.
I think its stupid, to live life like that.
Of course some would argue in between they do loads of other meaningful stuff, but what is meaningful?

In view of my upcoming graduation, i find life to be such a dick, that i supposedly have to find a job to pay off loans and be financially stable, if not i wouldn't have a gf, or something i could cling on to when times are hard.
I say.... its true, as much as i try to dream of other things, to travel the world, to live day by day as it comes, but it is unpractical, mom would worry and friends would despise.
If only life were more of a movie flick, where everything will work out in the end.
Life, one chance, one wrong turn, you're screwed. Well, most of the time anyway.

In another note, home is like a prison. hahaha

Oh yea, one more thing, why is everyone telling me they heard i am seeing someone??
IF I HAVE A GF, PLEASE TELL ME WHO IS SHE!
Got already like few people in the past month saying someone said i am going out or seeing someone, when there is no one wei, if somebody knows something about me that i don't know about, tell me, why am i the only one that doesn't know i have a gf???

-Prince Charming, I'm in love!-

Blind April

Last week of studies for this sem, then exams, then off to Bangkok for 2 weeks!

how am i gonna survive 2 weeks there?

April's fool was a letdown, then only fooling around was just me not doing work and reading up internet pranks rather than me with a fling with some random girl (hence, fooling around)

Attended a talk saying we should face our dark side of self in order to grow spiritually.

My thesis proposal is almost out of the way, that's good news, now the problem is running it and graduate.

Graduation: what am i gonna do when i do graduate? work and move out? I wish everything would fall into place like an automated self solving jigsaw puzzle. Will i end up doing a 9-5, confined and defined by a cubicle? Or can i do what i want and be happy? Or will i like so many others, my dream will crash in a horrifying car accident and burn to death?

Nightmares: 1) my whole family+extended family wanted to go somewhere, but seats in the car not enough, so they abandoned me, i found a friend who was nearby and treated me nice, then when i was about to leave, he became a monster and i couldn't leave. Woke up terrified.

2) A smartass tutor called my experiment crap. I woke up panicking.

Current dressing: Pink old Cf t-shirt with flower in front, holey pants, unkempt hair.

Movies watched in the past one week: Talentime (Yasmin Ahmad), Fast & Furious (Pantas dan Garang 4) and Confessions of a shopaholic (Jerry Bruckheimer), later: Taken (I wished it was Tekken instead =(   

Current Dreamgirl: Jordana Brewster (hot in Fast and Furious and Chuck and Fast and Furious again)

Current Cravings: Ice Blended Coffee

Thinks: stuff.

Maths Part 1

Equations:

chinese tea with ice + soya bean ice + coke ice = disaster in the toilet

1 + up = one extra life to mario

Horny gay guy + prejudice straight guy = hilarity

Jack Bauer + death = Jack wins

porcupine stuck to a chair seat + guy who has been standing for 5 days in a room with only two spaces for him to only stand and the chair with porcupine = best comedy movie ever

Caprice 6 + Boomer/Athena/Sharon 8 = Every man's fantasy (BSG fan only)

Bill Adama + (insert BSG fan name) = best couple ever (regardless of gender)

lordson + studies = epic phailed

lordson + (anything resembles a female) = miracle

ex-gf + current gf = ex-plosion

100 bottles of coke + 5 year old kid = invisibilty

20 mugs of beer + no condom + KL streets = you better really kiss dating goodbye

lordson + 2 am = coming up with lame equations

Monash Uni + HELP Uni = MO-HELP

Kim + father with surname Chee = Kim Chee

Keren + Slim = impossible

Barney the purple dinosaur + most people = Barney punching bag

Simon Yau + Soccer = Simon replying, "IT'S CALL FOOTBALL!"

Hoc Mun + physics degree = incompetent physicist (sorry hoc mun, i apologize for the joke)

you + reading this post till this point = idiot

-9-5-

You're On Notice!

Stop spelling it wrong!

Cum does not equal come

Bai does not equal bye

U does not equal you

XD does not equal face with cross-eye

Luv does not equal love

Wtf does not equal world taekwando federation

Fo sho does not equal for sure

TFK does not mean the fat kid

WoW literally means wow!

Especially LOL does not mean you are laughing it out loud, at most you are giggling it internally, that makes it GII!

Get it right, even worse when it is spotted in formal writings and assignments!
HahahahaHAahahahah
GG, =.=", hahahaahahahaahaha

-Who Dat Gal?-

There Not Here

Life. Tangled lines. Everyone crosses everyone at one point, and if you make a chart out of it, it would look messy.
Conversations. Within 5 lines, you could tell a lot from that person. Even with zero, it says something.
People. Some people live within their own walls. Opening when they feel like it, ignoring the rest.
Effect. One small deed spills over to another, and yet another, and disaster ensues.
Escape. Just run.
Suicide. Why people even think of it is a mystery.. 5 years ago. Now - it made sense.
Life. Tangled lines. To untangle it takes too much effort. Cut it off, less time, less effort.

-Here nor There-

Awesome

Still interested in performing this for a wedding with full suits on.

Stats

I like to believe role-playing games are just electronic version of life. For the most part they got it right, evil people like to be hooded until the very end of the reveal, hot girls usually appear in life if you are a badass, violence solves everything, snarky and witty remarks are funny and offending and it works, you are usually cool if you only wear one outfit most of the time, raw meat and herbs gives you life, the list goes on and on.

But one thing i think that made a lot of sense was how the talent points of a given character are distributed.
In most rpgs, your main character started off as a blank, then they give you a set of points to allocate towards the skills and build of your character, and as life goes on, you gain experience and can improve some more, till either you game over or some evil wizard cast a spell on you to deduct some of those points (screw you sorcery!!)

so well, i just wanted to see my growth, and so here are my stats, each category is tabulated a score over 10:

when i as a baby:
Physique (cuteness): 11/10
Pooping Skills: 9/10
Power to summon attention: 9/10
Dumbass-ness: -1/10
Persuasiveness skill (crying): 8/10

When i was in primary school:
Physique: 6/10
Intelligence: 8/10
Power to summon punishnment unintentionally: 10/10
Annoying Skill: 9/10
Attractiveness: 2/10
Gaming Skill: 7/10
Ability to spend more time than i had in cyber cafes: 10/10
Skill of ignorance: 11/10
Pooping Skills: 9/10
Peeing accurately skill: 4/10
Eating Skill: 7/10

When i as in high school:
Phsyique: 8/10
Intelligence: 8/10
Attractivenss: 1.5/10
Gaming skill: 2449/10
Pooping skills: 10/10
Peeing accurately skill: 2/10
Girls hate me by default skill: 9.75/10
Girls hate me because of what i did skill: 24/10
Talking Skill: 7/10
Geek: 8/10
Nerd: 8/10
Loser: n/a
Getting rejected umpteenth times skills (regardless of situation): 9/10
Still watching Dragonball and other stuff ability: 10/10
Tendency to be gay: 1/10

Currently in Uni:
Phsyqiue: -2/10
Intelligence: 1/10
Attractiveness: -5/10
Gaming skills: 9999/10
Pooping anywhere i like skill: 11/10
Peeing Accurately skill: 1/10
Peeing as fast as i can: 9/10 (substanstiated by my friends, ask them, i dare you)
Tendency to be gay: 9/10
Babe magnet skill: n/a
girls wanting to go out with me: n/a
nerd: 10/10
geek: 10/10
loser: ZOMGWTFBBQ/10
wisdom: ?
ability to see the future: 10/10
bullshitting skills: 10.5/10

verdict: You're Screwed.

-Morning has Broken-

Retro Respect

Action has consequences.

What you do now, has an impact on what is to come. It's like a video game, on choice inevitably leads to another choice which will then result in an ending befitting of those choices.
Some may come an bite you back in the ass, some opens up a world of colors, some has lessons well learnt, some just really makes you wanna shoot yourself.


Even when choices are for the greater good, or so you think, it will never truly be seen that way through the eyes of others.

We get beaten down by those choices that seem unwise and affects others, i had my fair share on it.
But we hold on, we come up, and we move on.

A counselor asked: Given the chance, what is the one thing you would change of yourself?
My answer: Plenty could be changed, plenty could be reversed so i wouldn't need to regret, but, no thanks, i am glad that where life has took me, for better or worse, i turned out alright, and lfie wouldn't be as interesting if it weren't for the mixture of bad and good.

So, question is, how are you going to fully utilize the choices you make for a higher purpose?

-Cycle-

Are You Ready?

How can one be ready in such a world?
Such a world is overrated.
We spend an entire life preparing for things to come we neglect the present and all of its opportunities.
Far sight vs near sight.
Prudent to think ahead, but fool to ignore the present.
Unwise to only be the present, ignorant to only dream dreams.
Balance, maybe?
Balance it should.

Guess what i'm trying to say is, i am afraid to graduate.

-One for the lady, two for the girl, three for the one down under-

2 Shows 1 satisfaction

I attended two shows today.

Number 1: Dragonball Evolution

IT'S HORRIBLE!! honestly, i almost wanted to cry in the cinema, it was so horrible, the characters were out, they made Goku a wimp and he actually likes a woman! (contradicts the comic quite a bit), Bulma was over-acting, YamCha or Yamu was an bloody idiot, i blame the actor! Chow Yun Fatt was horrible!! They modernized it, and it was HORRRIBLE!

The shen long dragon was short in length, no voice, they screwed the whole story up, the origins were all rewritten, Goku's race of Saiyans was probably neglected and now he is a new breed, the gorilla was small and stupid, at most, AT MOST i'd say Gohan, Goku's grandpa was the only decent character.

Piccolo was butt ugly! He didn't had his suit on, was defeated too easily.
IT WAS STUPID! most disappointing? STEPHEN CHOW! He was credited as the producer, i expected MORE, more DAMMIT!

SCREW YOU HOLLYWOOD! Don't touch my Metal Gear Solid!!!!

sigh.

Number 2:
Barry and Stuart!!!

Check out their link!!
They are comedian magicians from the UK, specifically Scotland! and they are freakin' funny!!!
Yea its expensive, the tickets, but they were totally engaging, they were lame, they were funny, very interactive, some tricks were disgusting but pretty original!
Kesian they had so few audience, like only 1/8 of the hall, it's so sad because THEY ARE SO GOOD!

Catch them before they leave!
GO here: http://www.klpac.com/Welcome.asp?c=whatsontheatreview&theatreID=282&theatrecatID=5

Last show this weekend, catch them!! Go!

They were funny, but i don't wanna spoil anything if you planned to watch, maybe i will tell you all after they leave, but its worth it!!
ok can't say more, if not give away their show. =)

But to top it all was the great company to watch with!

-Barry and Stuart-

I HATE YOU!!

WHY HOLLYWOOD??????WHY???????????????????????????????????????????

I thought..

I think that all humans are flawed, its the extent of how flawed, well of course, physical flaws are normal, like how some people have all the muscles in the world, wooing all the girls with his two gigantic arm muscles he names betty and veronica, then goes on dates with them, and those you thought you had a shot with now thinks you some kind of flabby loser and refuses to go out or even be near you, your self-esteem leaped off the building splattering the floor before whilst this muscular guy have all the fun in the world, goes on being a successful businessman since no brainers associate muscles with intelligent and irrationally inaccurately depicts a high correlation between them but you are still here struggling to meet ends meet, on top of that he is happily married with a poolside bangalow while you are renting some crappy house with barely enough time to meet new girl contacts.

But what i really meant to say was that all of us have flawed thinking.

Some think they are infallible and they fall.
Some think are invincible only to be hurt.
Some think they can be independent but rely on others later.

So why do we have flawed thinking? If we were given a superior brain, how come we are still as stupid as ever?
How do we eventually become smarter?
Independent thinking? Deviate from mainstream?
but by not following one faction of thought you actually subscribe to another.
By being neutral, we are being lukewarm, and as The Witcher says, it only takes so long before your you are forced to pick a side.

Flawed thinking.

Mine is:
- i'm awesome

and

- you're not



Shoutout: Keren! er, you still bumming at ya house ah? how come never see you around? oh wait, you flew off ah? since when? ah, buzz me when you drop out of uni again la ok? ciao!

-Emerge-

Sometimes words fail us.

-Rawr!-

Sky is Blue

Realizing every one us ain't so different after all.
Our perception of others are flawed.
That we are going through the same earth.
We don't comprehend, but we can understand,
That each of us are just running together in a long marathon.
Say what we wanna say,
We ain't so different after all.
The world seems like a much better place again.

-Where you are is where I'll be-

God PC or Mac?

If God were to use computers, would he pick a PC or Mac?

Well, PC has windows the makes too much error, so not really consistent with God's characteristics.

But Mac has an apple as a logo, we all know someone ate the apple and sin, so not really reflective of God either.

PC has loads of apps made for it, but Mac has stable programs.
Bill gates vs Steve Jobs.
I think God will use neither, both two evil.
God probably uses his PDA - Powerful Divine Attributes.

Keren you leaving tomorrow?? Bye Bye S.A.D. =(
we had a good long run!

Question i will never answer: who is the one and only girl as of now that i actually regretted not trying to go for?
If you wanna know, make a date with my funeral, its probably a rock concert and the answer will be revealed there, so come la please. thank you!

-Viva Pinata!-

Left 4....what the..??

Courtesy of: http://l4d-fr.com/achievements.php?eng

In

Is group membership important? Can we live in isolation from others and be satisfied?
Sometimes because of this membership stuff, we do stupid things like being who we ar enot, and probably participate in activities that are against our own principles.

Bible scriptures say that we probably should not live in isolation, at least not by choice.

But thing is, group membership is such an important factor, if you think about it, friends constitutes a group, so does church, political party, etc etc.
It really just depends on how hardcore you take your membership to be.

But i really think we shouldn't be bothered with petty ones, things that make you miserable such as uni groups, "cool" people etc etc

rather join groups that are accepting such as NGOs, S.A.D., BeFrienders, satisfaction of a membership without hassle!
I highly recommend the second one. Really. No, really.

-What spot is this???-

Made

-Aqua-

Believe it or not

I do not believe in:missionary dating

• valentine's day
• evolution
• myself getting a first class honor
• polygamy
• suicide solving problems
• being an asshole
• time machine
• bermuda triangle
• fashionable dressing
• talking stuff toys
• Ned Flanders
• love at first sight

I do believe in:

• my own skills
• a higher being
• getting married
• swords
• the quote, "everyone lies."
• food
• being myself
• global warming
• holidays
• survival of the fittest
• Homer Simpson
• Bender
• Jack Sparrow
• Goku

-HeHe-

For you.

Earth is bigger than what i see,

More than more could more ever be,

People come, people go,

No one ever truly stays here below.

What then in life will you decide?

On whose immortal being will you abide?

One who determines the place for your soul?

Or one who has a one way ticket, an enemy, a foe?

It is not I who is being religious,

Nor would I be stupidly supertitious,

I barely touched what you need to know,

It's up to you in the end to determine where you'd go.

It is a decicison you have to make,

It decides then the path you will later take,

In this ungodly world full of strife,

Look towards Jesus, the way, the truth and the life.

-Breathing-

"Too Bad"

"Everyone's got to face down the demons, Maybe today, We can put the past away"

"It's too bad that we had no time to rewind. Let's walk, let's talk."

"A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top And A One Man's Soul"

"I must have been confused or vain to let this evil in my brain."

"Before this room became just a place. Where I just sleep through endless days. Spinning webs and carving names. Where thoughts break up, exploding in space"

"Why can't we see when we bleed we bleed the same?"

"Running in circles. Chasing our tails. Coming back as we are."

"She's a shooting star, good night, good night."

"Signed, with a home tattoo, happy birthday to you was created for you."

"Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life. Trying to make ends meet, trying to find somebody then you die."-Speak to the Hand-

So Say We All

" 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. " - James 4:8

In HocMun's entry about James,

He mentioned about christian duty, for me, i go to verse 8 instead, saying the quoted found above.

Double-minded, this was the verse as i broke sabbatical and went back to a church for a service, and this was the verse that had made the most impression on me.

Why?

Because of late I've been exploring grounds that were once thought restricted and boundaries once untouched. And the attractions of the world apart from God is enticing, entrapping, and "alive". But God hates luke warm people, He agrees to a certain extend what Katy Perry sings, "You're hot then you're cold." It's better to be one or the other than in the middle unlike malcolm (Tv show joke reference), so i have to pick a side soon. Pretty soon, and i most likely will know where i want to stand. For once you tasted the truth, ignoring it brings sure death and doom that can be blamed on no one save you.

Below are some pics i edited a lil to test out new software for fun, unfortunately photoshop won't install on my comp, so i make do make do, and was alright with editing using another software which does the job just as well though maybe not as thorough. (Note: I did not do a good job of putting the pics in the ori size, so if wanna view, please click on the pic for the full view.)

-Bioshock-

-She's The One-

-There She Sits-

Never Gonna Be As Big

Petrosains is actually a cool place to go too.

But the galeri petronas just a floor below is just as interesting. Saw some cool artworks by local artists, and it was interesting, there was like clay displays, paper mache stuff and aluminum foil faces and much more, too bad no photography allowed! Bet it could turn out to be some pretty cool pics.

And it was free!!! Not so for petrosains, with student ID, still close to about RM10, but i guess since i paid it, might as well take my time.


Thought it'd be childish, first they put you in some semi time capsule and take you a looooooooooooooong ride to the next section, slow and i found out m'sians terlalu egoistic hahaha, don't think it is healthy, but i guess that's why we got so many stuff going on right now that people are pissed off.

Anyway, petrosains is a good place to be educated in stuff, problem solving, how some industries actually go about doing their work, i was kinda taken aback by the oil rig works, i thought oil rig was pure labor, showing off my manly muscles shirtless and sweat covering my body under the blazing sun, girls will go wild!

But noooo, it had to be about engineering and things involving valve pipes and timing and all that stuff. Argh! Is there a no brainer job?? I need one.

All in all, Friends and I spent a bit too much time playing arounf inside, especially the F1 area, kinda a lot of cool interactive stuff.

Will i go again? No. I mean, if got BETTER company, i would consider, but no.

In case you were wondering, i am doing better in my sabbatical. =)

-Cylons-

Awaken The Dawn

Another mortal went back to dust, lately death has been lingering around longer than we come to be familiar with.

Time is short, so?

Recently, my class assignment was to write on your tombstone, i planned something funny, but in the end scrap it, in case i lose marks.

Funny la my lecturers, rajin a bit do work, then say we unprepared and minus 2 marks!
Haiyo.

Ok rant over.

Funny tombstone writings:

Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast, pardon me for not rising.

In a Georgia cemetery: "I told you I was sick!"

Courtesy of http://www.onmylist.com/category/miscellaneous/Funny_Tombstones_1

-Stairway to heav..?-

Huh?

I don't usually go blog tags, no i still don't, but now since this 25 random things about (apparently)myself is going about.

Let me do a 10 totally random things about myself:

1. My eczema is the main reason i didn't bother joining badan berunit beruniform last time, save for the first 3 years of high school life where i slaved myself in stupid st. john for don't know what. Got humiliated, got hated, no girls thought i was awesome in the uniform, and worst of all I PAID FOR THE STUPID UNIFORM. (Also eczema is reason i most of the time don't do sports or outdoor activities, i am a sad sad kid.)
2. I always go for girls and lose momentum halfway, uh-oh, hope that is not some indication of something in the future after i get married, hmm...
3. I find HocMun's younger sister quite hot.
4. Though i hate to admit it, i have a yellow bear in my room, but it was a gift, can't throw it away, so it was/is always there...
5. I always wanted to be a pilot.
6. I have a black and white clothing phase since high school. A period i like white clothes, a period i like black, a period i like white, a period i like black.
7. I never thought thegirlchurhmate's sis was chun.OK!! that wasn't it, just wanted to throw that in. What i meant to say was that i am actually nice.
8. I actually have more friends, but i only hang out with about 5-7 people, EVERY TIME, SAME PLACE, doing the same thing, talking the same thing, i have loads of friends, but i only stick to them, oh my goodness! WHY???
9. I thought i was gay once (seeing how i am girlfriend-less, up till now, sigh)
10. Broke my leg when i was 9, mom refused to buy me breakfast on a sat morning, and i went to buy for myself then, reading Doraemon comic book, i slipped and fell in the double-layered drain while trying to cross it while reading the comic.
    

-Going all the way down-

Freshmen

I remember teaching form 1 and 2 students, and boy was i terrible, of course apart from trying to be cool and all in school and totally hate the system there, still it was a good experience.
Problem is, i didn't show equality to all students.

Why? Some students annoyed the heck out of me. So i picked who i like and who i don't. Uh-oh. I became a cliche teacher, the kind where i hated because they showed partiality. So why do we fall into cliches? Human nature?

I realized i couldn't love all the kids the same because everyone is different, and though i appeared to, i could not. And now, thinking back, i felt stupid, if i did not show them equality, then they would hate the system and their subsequent teachers, which could be partially my fault as well.

And now, going to graduate, if i were to pursue what i am studying now, i realized i cannot be a counselor or a clinical psychologist, for i would be biased and impose my own values.

If i were to be religious, i could not love everyone , and though i could appear to, i know in my heart i would not.

Even when meeting new people, physical attraction plays a role in my divided attention, bullcrap about inner beauty first, if not for the outside, i wouldn't care less the inside, though there are a few exceptions.

I realized my care and time is not for everyone, and i have to accept it from others as well. If Jesus can show that kind of love, did he not empower us to do so as well?

Whats the point of religion if you are no better than any one in the world?

-It's true-hoo, look how they shine for you-oo-