Lyrics by Me

3nd time i edit!

A reader told me that this post sound emo and its as if i am talking to myself, disclaimer: NO, it is over the years people keep telling me their world is crap and girls are their life, but then they move on, so stop overdramatizing!!! haha, so this is written for you losers out there =p

OK I PUT BACK ORIGINAL (with a slight edit =p) ok no more editing! i'm so a people pleaser=p

Verse1:

You told me that you live in darkness

Have you turn on the lights in your room?

You told me that life is not worth living

Can i have your playstation and xbox too?

Chorus:

Don't come up to me saying you're sorry

Don't make things so big when its small

Life is great don't make it so corny

You're not the only one after all

Verse 2:

You said she was the prettiest one you've seen

I say are you sure? My mom's better and she ain't eighteen

You say you've fallen in love and she's the one

I say cool, when you break up i'll be having fun

Chorus:

Don't come up to me saying you're sorry

Don't make things so big when its small

Life is great don't make it so corny

You're not the only one after all

Bridge:

So sometimes you see things your way

You bullshit in the things you say

When you stumble upon the truth someday

I hope that you will be okay

I hope that you will be okay

Verse 3:

You told me now you know you're a fool

I'm glad that you don't just see glass half full

You ask how could this be any better?

I say at least you and i are together

At least you and i are together

Chorus:

Don't come up to me saying you're sorry

Don't make things so big when its small

Life is great don't make it so corny

You're not the only one after all

Now we're seeing things together

Lets live life that matters

Don't ever ever say never

Least you and i are together, you and i are together

You and i are together

-End-

Advice

Two Best Advice Received This Year:

"Don't Do Anything"

"Just Don't Care"

Congratulations

As you take the vow

you swore till death from now

To bear the flaws of one another

To brave through every matter

In unity, as lovers, together

To uphold the love, hope to break it never

Pray you'll honor this marriage's sanctity

Treat each other with respect and loyalty

I now learn to let you go and hope to see

That you'll be happy, and then happy i too will be

-Congratulations-

Discourse

I grew up wanting to be a pilot. Drive a huge machine, maybe to compensate for something, maybe it's cool. Whatever it was, i wanted to travel so badly, and what better way to make a living out of it!

Then in primary school, i started having vision problems, probably genetics, or too much comics. Someone told me that people with specs hardly become a pilot. Dream gone.

Then i wanted to be a lawyer. Seems cool, make money, assist in attaining justice, be a clean good lawyer. Then we had Sejarah, totally put off by the mindless reading and then comes Pengajian Am, totally waste of time, not that the subject was not informational, the way they write the text book was already biased and i felt pointless reading it. Dream gone.

Then i wanted to be a missionary. After high school, immersed myself in life in college and university, they way people think are vastly different, and they made sense, call me weak in will, but circumstanstial wise, it is hard not to deviate towards their thinking. Dream put on hold.

Then i just wanted to work and travel. See the world, make enough to support myself, and probably do some local work to aid in whatever way i can to whichever society i was in wherever i am. Then i grew up, responsibilities came, things took a turn of change. Dream put on hold.

No wonder, as i grew up, people kept saying dreams are just dreams, what is important is to be successful. But, successful is just a measurement people place upon themselves to target where they wanna end up to be. My success is to live a fulfilled life, yeap, being poor is a bitch, unable to provide security for people i love is agony, but i guess i i am happy with what i am doing, i don't mind.

Put on tainted lenses, and i see people who gets it all, or they have a plan, or they succeed in whatever they do, most of the time anyway, some attributed it to God, some their parents, some just keep denying that they are blessed and say they work just as hard, what a load of crap! There is no equality in this world, you're born to be rich, you're rich! Simple as that.

Using my naked eyes, and i see a world in poverty, broken people broken lives, i have a roof over my head, i have a complete family, i still go out have fun, so who am i to say my life is full of shit?

Sometimes, its the standard of living we set for ourselves that caused us to have such a shitty mindset.

My dreams will probably never come true, i probably will work, make money, provide, be content to give out some cash to charity to "help" out people.

Nay, that shall never happen!

Never ever become jaded.

Yeap.

- Oh, Whatever~ -

Fr'iends

-Way to Go-

Sweep!

Been talking to mom lately, guess didn't really communicate with her over the past years, but now we got a bit of mutual understanding between us =)

A lot happened this year, but so far looking better than 2009!

Good stuff:

- Got a nephew who i'm gonna mil for cash! muahaha

- Made more substantial friends, adding to my quite cool list of friends.

- Went Thailand for mission trip, good fooood

- Build better friendships with people

- Street Fighter 4

- On my way to grad!

- Still having good friends around (the old ones)

- Knowing I am a better man than certain people of my age

- Friends came back from overseas for holidays!

Bad stuff:

- Need to find job soon, dreams of doing my own stuff after graduation seem unlikely now

- More and more problems, more responsibilities

- My dog depressed

- Busy till can't catch up with friends as much as i would like to

- Xbox 360 been neglected, i think she filing a divorce.

- God and I seem to be separated by a metaphorical chasm

- No thong as birthday present

- People still call me Watson, Lordston, Lawson, Lawrence

But all in all, good year, better than when i fell sick!

Been playing some street fighter, my gaming cred all gone.

I lost to a girl, YES, a girl.

Then i lost to my sifu, Aku, for 36 rounds consecutively.

At least i won one or twice with some people, SOME people.

but good game!

Still...

why Chun-Li's thighs so thick? Can feed the whole third world country wei!

BURN!

Muahahahahahaa.

With You

And you call me a..?

God creates Adam, and soon Adam is complaining that he's all alone in the Garden of Eden. So God says, "Okay, I'll make you a companion, a beautiful creature who'll cook and clean for you. It will be able to converse intelligently on any subject, and never ever complain or argue."

Adam says, "That sounds great."

God says, "The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam says, "That's expensive!! What can I get for a rib?"

I'm sexist? HAHA.

Goodnight

Goodnight room
Goodnight moon
Good night cow jumping over the moon
Goodnight light
And the red balloon
Goodnight bears
Goodnight chairs
Goodnight kittens,
And goodnight mittens
Goodnight clocks
And goodnight socks
Goodnight little house
And goodnight mouse
Goodnight comb
And goodnight brush
Goodnight nobody
Goodnight mush
And goodnight to the old lady whispering hush
Goodnight stars
Goodnight air
Goodnight noises everywhere

Bad Case of Loving You

About 3 post away, i wrote a poem, it was for my mummy. I think she has been giving too much without asking back, she did talked me a few times, but what could i do? Well, for one thing, i swept and mopped the floor today. At least one thing off her list eh?

I think my mom has been working ever since young, hasn't rested, her dreams to travel, to open a business or to even own her own garden was not fulfilled. She has been selflessly giving her time and effort to make sure we're better than we should be. Power of mothers. This is probably the most cliche post ever.

Mommy couldn't lived her dream of going overseas as a nurse because her conservative mom wouldn't want her to marry a foreigner. So mommy gives us a lot of liberty.

Mommy had no freedom as a kid. Now we got the freedom she never had.

Mommy don't buy stuff she wants. We get what we wanted.

Mommy never played favourites. But she was blamed so.

Mommy could have walked. But she didn't. Instead we did, occasionally.

Mommy couldn't even leave to watch a movie because worry of baby. But i did, often.

Mommy tried her best. We gave her the worst.

Okok, like becoming emo post. I love mommy. She da best.

-In The Midst-

Hey Lil Bugger..

-Happy 1 month old, nephew, you've made it this far, many more milestones to go dude =) -

G.R

Reaper make its round again nearby, another death occured.

Miscarriage happens.

Been reading some blogs on a recent death, some say they never knew the person and wish they could, some planned to go out with him but not now and never will be, a lot of people say things, a lot of regrets. They couldn't grasp the importance of doing and not planning.

Time has no mercy, no limit.

How sure are we there is always a tomorrow?

So why plan so far ahead, aye?

Sometimes we just should take a leap and see where it goes.

days, months or years. It is naive to think we are untouchable,

By tomorrow, another live robbed, another flower withers.

why not now? why later? why do we plan for something uncertain?

Sometimes, it is best to dive into the unkown in the moment.

That's what makes life interesting, make life worth living.

So pardon me, if i seem hasty and impatient.

You'll never know when life vanishes or when it will stop existing for you.

As morbid as it sounds, it serves as an indicator to live life now, as uncertain as tomorrow be, hope you have no regrets.

I live the way i want it to be, as i told a friend, i don't believe in time frames, if it happens, it happens.

If we let ourselves set up a prison for our minds and not do anything soon and just keep making excuses and plans, who knows before any eleventh hour, the tenth hour you are gone.

Ah, life, and death, how you both seem to make life so short, and how you fool and toil around with lives, kudos, if death can speak anything to life, then life would speak out much more before death.

Aliens Vs. Me

-Even Aliens got a chance to be married, and me still single-

She

Her hesitance, her sighs,

Her woes are nigh,

Gaze upon the open greens,

Wondering if the end justifies the means.

Standing before her responsibility,

The endless cycle, the ungraitfying continuity,

She tires herself endlessly,

Never uttering a word, moving silently.

The pain she bore, she could never tell,

Though life was good, she was unwell,

As the water runs through her feet,

Tears come after, rolling down her cheek.

Who could rescue her at this time?

There was no crisis, no cry of help, no crime,

All she could do was open her eyes,

Weep silently, the unheard cries.

Helplessly one stand afar,

Looking at her, scar upon scar,

The agony of doing nothing,

The shame ever haunting.

When will the spinning end?

When will the Up High help to send?

Still ever strifing there she stands,

Her strength, her will to carry on, I could never understand.

30th May, 2009

-Lordson-

Song2

A lot of things to do, a lot to handle, yet i have no focus.

mid-terms, thesis experiment, things in life!

How do clowns juggle so many stuff in one go?

The key to change if vested within one individual, isn't it too much power and responsibility given?

Wonder how would Jesus have felt at the moment before the cross.

Was talking to a friend, we discussed the emerging trends of churches, it seems that once again the church faces trouble, could be politics, could be organization problems, what is true though is that a lot of christians are no longer christians.

Come to think of it, what differenciate us from others?

We come, we do all that is needed, we leave. It's been going on for years and years.

If we always adapt to the changing world, then we might as well don't subsribe to a religion.

Another friend said, "Jesus is actually a cool dude, it's the christians that make Him look bad."

Ouch, i have no qualms agreeing.

If we are the reason Jesus died on the cross, why are we now the reason of making Him look bad?

Ah, questions that probably could never be answered, another friend wrote on the blog that some things just can't be answered, why bother. I agree.

Sometimes, friends have the darndest things to say, and its true.

Childhood - perfect solace in an imperfect world.

-Emerging Times-

Girl

If i was a girl,

It'll make boys hurl,

Lipsticks abound, my hair twirls,

Prepare my coming, world!

If I were a lady,

Guys would ask me out daily,

or so i think, because i'm easy,

easy to mix with, you silly!

If i was a female,

I'd catch all the attention of males,

I'll be flocked with thousand of emails,

One of them probably is the prince of wales.

If i was a woman,

no men in the world to entice i couldn't,

i bet this poem has proven,

Me as a girl, will be awesome.

Sigh... why do i even bother posting up such post.

-Flatness-

Aerosmith

Thai do love their pink, i mean REALLY love them.

Pink Gazebo on a VERY hot day.

Pink Bench for your ass.

All pink building, oh gosh..

ALL PINK internet cafe, this is DA BOMB, 30 minutes in this, MY EYES LITERALLY HURT. Business idea fail!! FAIL! at least i hope it fails, damn.

Pink license plate, with Hello Kitty, UGH!

Pink Taxis?? WTH!

Pink BUS??!?!?!

PINK TOYOTA TAXI???

Pink fashion sense?!? (quite rampant in thailand)

Pink bicycle helmet?? This is getting worse by the picture!

l

Oh gosh, pink atm??? GIMME A BREAK! Withdrawing money also is pinkish, i surrender, you win! Dammit! YOU WIN THIS TIME!

Chasing The Wind

Yesterday, someone took me out for lunch, trying to understand and help me, prayed, and then told me that the seed within me was wrinkled and dried up, that i need to reach out to God.

It struck me that it's been this way for a very long time.

I tried returning, and yes, it helped, the thai mission trip, it helped too, but it didn't penetrate the core. I deceived myself by thinking i was returning by going to church, having theological debates. Those helped me see God a lil, but i was too far to touch Him.

Don't understand why. Sometimes i understand why some people refused to believe in Christianity, why some of them seem so adamant bout remaining anything but a Christian. But i don't know how to tell them anymore, that that is not the way to live.

I have the knowledge, not the passion.

Everything seems like it has lost its significance.

I used to see the world as exciting and colorful, now just desert upon desert. Not to say being emotional about it or anything. It just seems that i lost purpose in life. I very well know i could and would go work, get some cash, help the needy, bless my family, go travel and what not, but in the end, i just don't see where it all fits in with the moving world.

I feel like a walking ghost amongst the world, at home, i just do what i should do, and that's it. Conversations never go beyond "Any clothes to wash?" or "had lunch yet?"

Eye contact never go beyond the surface.

Amongst others, i'm there but not there. i enjoy the company, but after nightfall, i felt nothing.

I have no motivation to penetrate into groups anymore, no joy in trying to fit in, no care if i just go and leave.

What should matter doesn't, what shouldn't does.

I lie awake sometimes wondering what am i doing.

Sometimes i think i try too hard too much, or i don't at all.

There is no constant anymore, just waves.

I wish this was an emo post and that it is a phase.

If it really is, it is a very very long phase.

-Fastball-

Comments

Statements or comments directed to me while in Thailand (may not be quoted word for word):

"You got nice long silky hair"

"You've gained weight"

"No finding of thai wife during the trip"

"Learn how to dress up like them"

What would have been better would be:

"You are the most handsome m'sian i've ever seen"

"I wanna marry you"

"You probably taste as good as thai green curry"

"I wish you were here during songkran, wet...mmmm"

"You have more variety in you than all floating market combined"

"if you were here, tuk-tuk would be ***censored***"

Ok, with that, i probably should end, thailand, give more positive comments please! I come again soon, buck up!

-English Phail-

Dear Lord,

Keep my family in prayer.

With the new addition, mom has been stressed, for she has extra things to do.

Apart from that, there are others too.

Family needs prayer, will you, pray with me?

-Art In Heaven-

Hanging By A Moment

-Almost Complete-