It always comes down to this period of time, where you truly sit down and think things through.
Always at one point or another, i'd think i'm doing alright, just waiting patiently to get there, waiting for my time to come, and that all i have been doing up to that point was needed in order to get to where i wanted to be.
I think it's an innate ability of any human to deceive themselves that they are justified in what they are doing.
It is a good and bad thing.
No real right or wrong.
I could sleep for hours upon hours, and yet still be tired.
Or even busy myself day after day and still feeling aimless.
I could dream of things beyond things yet still feel grounded.
And live a life that is utterly and disappointingly pointless.
I could walk and traverse this world yet be back where i once stood.
I could fly on wings of the eagle but still be stagnant and unmoved.
Wade through rivers and walk through deserts all that i could.
But end up disbelieving in all and be unloved.
How do i continuously deceive my own heart?
So that i can make it to the end of my being?
Not thinking of life's broken pieces and shards.
Not wondering about anything at all; continue deceiving.
I write and write for pages so long.
I speak and speak in poems and song.
I talk and talk to people and more.
But still feel the emptiness' sore.
I breathe.
I live.
I love.
I die.
I am me.
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1 comment:
still writing! good to read your last post.
I may be wrong, but reading Ecclesiastes just reminds me of the aims we have in our lives could all be well meaningless, if it's not for the glory of God.
something for us to ponder about, the things we want to achieve in life, do they have eternal value, or just self satisfying desires?
it's not bad to have desire, but what i think is, if it doesn't have eternal value, and is not from God who gives us strength to persevere, we may always be disillusioned and discouraged by uncertainties.
God bless, kawan.
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