Half a year has gone by in 2012, presenting us the end of the world, the heat is up the weather is insane, life isn't getting any easier.
The inner sanctuary has been invaded,
Lost of space feels the frustrated,
The scorching sun rides through the crack,
Melting, dissolving the trodden track.
Run, run in every direction,
Save yourselves from destruction,
Survive the apocalypse till the morning dawn,
Then you will reach the future's front.
We do what we can when we can,
to build a future to what we planned,
We drenched ourselves in tiredness,
And drives ourselves to our own madness.
The blue or the red pill?
The decision is up to you still.
Let's go to the depths of the rabbit's hole,
And let's see what events unfold.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
That time of the month
The usual saying says that girls have that time of the month, hence better stay away because they'd be emo and have unpredictable mood swings.
I also have have that time of the month (or months).
I've noticed that i will be emo and down after a long "high" period, which is normal, seeing that there is a theory of regression.
So here it comes, raining, life in the pits, future uncertain.
Where am i?
I am:
I also have have that time of the month (or months).
I've noticed that i will be emo and down after a long "high" period, which is normal, seeing that there is a theory of regression.
So here it comes, raining, life in the pits, future uncertain.
Where am i?
I am:
- poor still, at the age of 26
- still not quite sure of direction in lfie
- just like i was a year ago
- still happy i got a bit more freedom than others at the cost of my "stable" future
What have we become? We became cynics! CYNICS!
Recently there was an uproar over a viral video stating a tyrant kidnapping children to be child soldiers and if you are ever around the internet, you should have seen it at least in the headlines.
I was considerably upset, because the internet age has converted us into people who are distrustful and just want to show off how "smart" we are. I applaud the internet for making things that were previously unknown more known to us who are comfortable in our positions.
But the amount of oppositions of that particular video has made me wail in anger. What turns out to be an awareness cause turned to hatred and turned to bullying of those who thinks they are better than the rest!
They gave opposing articles, videos, and informed the rest of the world how smart they were by not falling into gimmicks and emotional manipulation tactics. But i say to these people, have you fucking done a single thing in your life otherwise?
If no, fuck off! Stop trying to put a cork into something that can motivate people to do something, at least they are doing something. Are you? Cynics!
Just tired of having people saying otherwise to me and to the rest of the world.
We live and die by our decisions, we don't need idiots to tell us and direct us when it already tough to make our own decision.
Let me live, let me live.
Just tired of having people saying otherwise to me and to the rest of the world.
We live and die by our decisions, we don't need idiots to tell us and direct us when it already tough to make our own decision.
Let me live, let me live.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
Untitled
Regardless of what most people say, i really appreciate the rain, it makes the weather that more bearable, the sound of rain pouring down onto the floor is soothing and the thought of it cleansing the earth is comforting.
A quarter of the year is almost done what has happened?
Death, memories, excitement, opportunities, fatigue, sore and all kinds of things are happening, and yet, still not that fulfilling, i love meeting with people, and through them i always learn a bit more about myself and others.
As life continues to pick up, i just hope that it is for the better.
A quarter of the year is almost done what has happened?
Death, memories, excitement, opportunities, fatigue, sore and all kinds of things are happening, and yet, still not that fulfilling, i love meeting with people, and through them i always learn a bit more about myself and others.
As life continues to pick up, i just hope that it is for the better.
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Year Ahead
The one thing to remind myself, is that i am 26 and still as poor as ever.
The other thing to remind myself, is that i'm gonna make this a kickass year.
So, let's hope for something good to turn out!
The other thing to remind myself, is that i'm gonna make this a kickass year.
So, let's hope for something good to turn out!
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Being Perfect
I am a broken man in a broken world.
For what good is a perfect man in a perfect world?
He has not tasted hunger, and have not been overjoyed when received food.
Has not thirst and be restored at a sip of water.
He knows no sadness, no tears rolling down his cheek.
No hope for there is no need of hope.
No despair, no love for all is perfect.
There is no darkness to contrast the light.
No evil to have good.
No joy of helping another, no appreciation of what is dying.
No pain, no fear.
No experience of the joy of being in love.
For what good is a man if he is perfect and everything is nothing but perfect?
He knows no sorrow for there is none.
No hatred, no imperfections to repair, no moral values to consider.
No thoughts that tears him apart, no decisions that will impact him or any other.
No sowing, no reaping, no putting your hands in the dirt.
He has everything he needs and wants, and even that is naught because everything is perfect.
A man truly lives when he sweat tears and blood.
When he finds hope amidst hopeless times.
Salvation on the other end of the spectrum.
A man truly loves when he finds it, truly gives because others needs it.
He will mourn and wail, weeps and cries.
But he will also laugh and smile, appreciate and be grateful.
For all that is imperfect, it makes up a meaningful life.
He could die unfulfilled, but he dies and lived.
He could die striving for an unattainable goal, but he dies trying.
He could die and suffer the most horrific death, but hoped.
He enjoys the birth of his child, and feels lost when the child dies.
He could lose the battle, but died defending what he believes him.
None of that can come to pass in a perfect world.
I am a broken man in a broken world.
And there is nothing i would change of it.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Being Two-5
Being 25 is an accomplishment by itself, you've survived this far and you're at best 3 quarters away from death or at least halfway through your life!
At this point you're probably into your job for the first year, into your masters or PhD years, or looking for a job, and also figuring what the fuck is it you actually want to do for the rest of your crappy life!
No easy answers, and plenty of articles, blogs and motivational speakers would have told you how to!
Well, here is a few tips from someone who is 25:
At this point you're probably into your job for the first year, into your masters or PhD years, or looking for a job, and also figuring what the fuck is it you actually want to do for the rest of your crappy life!
No easy answers, and plenty of articles, blogs and motivational speakers would have told you how to!
Well, here is a few tips from someone who is 25:
- Fuck peer pressure and cultural expectations (note: me is Chinese), yeap, that's right! Oh don't get me wrong, i feel the goddamned pressure every fucking day! Ok, maybe not every day like days i play board games, watch some nice movie and/or generally napping for more than 2 hours! But what i really meant was that your friends and peers and do whatever the hell they want, but you don't have to conform! Well, to put it bluntly, if you're not into the corporate world, don't jump into it because you "have" to, or "should". If it's money that's currently worrying you, do some part time jobs or take up some job that you don't mind doing while slowly figuring your way there. This makes total sense, because what you choose to do could very well be something you'll be doing for an extended period of time, and if you simply do it just because, you might be miserable. So take some time, do some odd jobs or take up some admin jobs and figure out what your strengths are and where your passion lies and what can you do best be complemented by it!
- Peer pressure is going to mindfuck you! - Yeap, as to build upon the earlier point - being who we are, people around us tend to be our benchmarks for success in life. My friends are earning way more than i do, travelling the world now and seeing a whole lot of things while i sit down and write this stupid blog post. I feel like shit, but important thing is to not lose focus, you might take 10 years to get to where you are, but at least you're getting there, so you could lose on getting new gadgets, eating fancy food, but if you're happy with where you are heading, peer pressure can be overcome.
- Action! - This is where most people mess up! We do not take action, we tend to like to think of hypothetical scenarios rather than experiencing them, don't get me wrong, you might end up worse off than before, but you know what? At the very least, you've tried. No "What if" looming in your minds, no "Maybe this might have happened", none of those! What's left is "Where do I go now?" You take an action to move on, you stay where you are playing safe you might just be stagnant! Well, playing safe has its merits, most important is to check your goals to see if that is the best course of action.
- Have hope, believe in yourself - I won't kid you, some people die without even being close to their dream, but as my previous point has stated, no "What if" situations. Always believe you can do it, but always always be realistic, if you know you ain't gonna be no rock star, then maybe switch it up to something more practical! Compromises can be made as long as you're happy.
- Brain - Yeap, use your freaking brain! God gave us brain (for those who believe in higher beings) and if we don't use them to think ahead, think through, plan and make decisions, then all my points are moot! And for you people who like to say "God will direct me", it doesn't mean you sit there waiting for shit to happen, it means you gotta just trust whatever step you're taking will be guided by God, don't sit there, move!
And that is probably half of what i intended to write, i just got lazy! But it should get some of you started off, if that is anyone willing to take advice from a struggling citizen whose dreams are as far as it could be from him.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
This Period of Time
It always comes down to this period of time, where you truly sit down and think things through.
Always at one point or another, i'd think i'm doing alright, just waiting patiently to get there, waiting for my time to come, and that all i have been doing up to that point was needed in order to get to where i wanted to be.
I think it's an innate ability of any human to deceive themselves that they are justified in what they are doing.
It is a good and bad thing.
No real right or wrong.
I could sleep for hours upon hours, and yet still be tired.
Or even busy myself day after day and still feeling aimless.
I could dream of things beyond things yet still feel grounded.
And live a life that is utterly and disappointingly pointless.
I could walk and traverse this world yet be back where i once stood.
I could fly on wings of the eagle but still be stagnant and unmoved.
Wade through rivers and walk through deserts all that i could.
But end up disbelieving in all and be unloved.
How do i continuously deceive my own heart?
So that i can make it to the end of my being?
Not thinking of life's broken pieces and shards.
Not wondering about anything at all; continue deceiving.
I write and write for pages so long.
I speak and speak in poems and song.
I talk and talk to people and more.
But still feel the emptiness' sore.
I breathe.
I live.
I love.
I die.
I am me.
Always at one point or another, i'd think i'm doing alright, just waiting patiently to get there, waiting for my time to come, and that all i have been doing up to that point was needed in order to get to where i wanted to be.
I think it's an innate ability of any human to deceive themselves that they are justified in what they are doing.
It is a good and bad thing.
No real right or wrong.
I could sleep for hours upon hours, and yet still be tired.
Or even busy myself day after day and still feeling aimless.
I could dream of things beyond things yet still feel grounded.
And live a life that is utterly and disappointingly pointless.
I could walk and traverse this world yet be back where i once stood.
I could fly on wings of the eagle but still be stagnant and unmoved.
Wade through rivers and walk through deserts all that i could.
But end up disbelieving in all and be unloved.
How do i continuously deceive my own heart?
So that i can make it to the end of my being?
Not thinking of life's broken pieces and shards.
Not wondering about anything at all; continue deceiving.
I write and write for pages so long.
I speak and speak in poems and song.
I talk and talk to people and more.
But still feel the emptiness' sore.
I breathe.
I live.
I love.
I die.
I am me.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Man Up
People will have a lot of things to say about a lot of things, the thing is, we must filter and decide for ourselves what is right.
I've been unleashed to the working world close to 2 years now, and as previous post stated, ideals and dreams can fade.
Our mind contradicts, we think we have to work in a dead end job to provide but in return life has no meaning; we want life to have meaning but we think we can't end up with a dead end job, but we can fuse both - have a job and a meaningful life.
The problem with human cognition is that we always rationalize, not a bad thing to do but always doing it can stifle us. The other problem is that we always pre-planned our time. It's like using a credit card, we use future money to make ourselves feel good now.
The danger here is that we'll never know where the future money is coming from to pay it off. We could leave it to our future selves to figure it out, but that's just being a douche to your future self. Same with using time, we always plan to do things in the future, but when it comes we just postpone it or just say we can't do it.
That's a load of turd.
We move now, we make our own chances. No future is built by planning in the future, we should plan now for the future, not just dreaming of hypothetical futures to soothe our lack of self fulfillment now. If that is the case, no house will ever be built. We lay down the bricks to have a home, we start a revolution now to make sure we get to where we want to be.
Complacency will kill our dreams; "I will work now and travel later" - It's logical, it's rational, it seems like the right thing to do, but when the time comes, are we going to compromise and maybe skim off some of the plans and postpone it?
I may not make sense, but one thing i'm sure, we want it, we do it.
I've been unleashed to the working world close to 2 years now, and as previous post stated, ideals and dreams can fade.
Our mind contradicts, we think we have to work in a dead end job to provide but in return life has no meaning; we want life to have meaning but we think we can't end up with a dead end job, but we can fuse both - have a job and a meaningful life.
The problem with human cognition is that we always rationalize, not a bad thing to do but always doing it can stifle us. The other problem is that we always pre-planned our time. It's like using a credit card, we use future money to make ourselves feel good now.
The danger here is that we'll never know where the future money is coming from to pay it off. We could leave it to our future selves to figure it out, but that's just being a douche to your future self. Same with using time, we always plan to do things in the future, but when it comes we just postpone it or just say we can't do it.
That's a load of turd.
We move now, we make our own chances. No future is built by planning in the future, we should plan now for the future, not just dreaming of hypothetical futures to soothe our lack of self fulfillment now. If that is the case, no house will ever be built. We lay down the bricks to have a home, we start a revolution now to make sure we get to where we want to be.
Complacency will kill our dreams; "I will work now and travel later" - It's logical, it's rational, it seems like the right thing to do, but when the time comes, are we going to compromise and maybe skim off some of the plans and postpone it?
I may not make sense, but one thing i'm sure, we want it, we do it.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Reconciliation
The funny think about thinking, is that when you think about it, you often find things you don't want to think about but ended up thinking about it anyway.
At this very moment, i like to think about money, where to get them, where to find them and how in the best possible way. With this thought, i think about how else can i spend the money if i had it, and to double it.
I come up with business ideas, business models, things to do, things i'm doing currently. And it's as if i had found what i should be doing, then i went ahead and think.
Like seriously think.
Been deprived of a good night sleep recently, made me had more time to just lie there and think, much like when i was in high school or uni, where i would just spend my time on bed alone, after a good read or a good day, just lie there, staring at the ceiling, appreciating the minor light shone by the street lamp outside my house into my room to give me a bit of warmth, the dogs barking, the winds howling, and just think.
So i gave a thought yo life, and how long i've come since whence i was younger and more idealistic.
Used to just want to jump on a ship and sail away, or just take a one way ticket to some country and just walk and work. Would want to go help people every where, go on mountain hikes and cycle down a beaten path. Explore waterfalls, fly a kite, try surfing.
But now, just want to spend a few nights out at mamak, have fun, and then go home and sleep. And i would think of how to generate money, with money i can do all of those things! Then begs the question, when will it be enough so i could start doing any of the above?
I see people just taking off and having fun wherever they are, don't get me wrong, money is still a concern to them, but they are happy off doing that instead of climbing the corporate ladder.
Where am i heading? Could i be a tent maker too and just go off?
How do i reconcile my current goals with my thoughts and actions?
How to do all this?
I hope i don't spend a lifetime figuring this out.
At this very moment, i like to think about money, where to get them, where to find them and how in the best possible way. With this thought, i think about how else can i spend the money if i had it, and to double it.
I come up with business ideas, business models, things to do, things i'm doing currently. And it's as if i had found what i should be doing, then i went ahead and think.
Like seriously think.
Been deprived of a good night sleep recently, made me had more time to just lie there and think, much like when i was in high school or uni, where i would just spend my time on bed alone, after a good read or a good day, just lie there, staring at the ceiling, appreciating the minor light shone by the street lamp outside my house into my room to give me a bit of warmth, the dogs barking, the winds howling, and just think.
So i gave a thought yo life, and how long i've come since whence i was younger and more idealistic.
Used to just want to jump on a ship and sail away, or just take a one way ticket to some country and just walk and work. Would want to go help people every where, go on mountain hikes and cycle down a beaten path. Explore waterfalls, fly a kite, try surfing.
But now, just want to spend a few nights out at mamak, have fun, and then go home and sleep. And i would think of how to generate money, with money i can do all of those things! Then begs the question, when will it be enough so i could start doing any of the above?
I see people just taking off and having fun wherever they are, don't get me wrong, money is still a concern to them, but they are happy off doing that instead of climbing the corporate ladder.
Where am i heading? Could i be a tent maker too and just go off?
How do i reconcile my current goals with my thoughts and actions?
How to do all this?
I hope i don't spend a lifetime figuring this out.
Friday, October 07, 2011
Rethinking
Guess with the news of passing friends, prominent figures that's surrounding us these days, we tend to reevaluate life and priorities, just so to make sure we aren't pursuing worthless trivial things, and that we recognized mortality and it's effect.
I have came to realized how selfish i am when comes to my family, i keep appearing as someone who loves my family, but in actual fact, i use them as an excuse to stay stagnant. I do not realized how much my own parents are giving up in order to let us do what we want.
To be honest, my sister's wedding is tomorrow, and i have no part in the planning or helping out, and i felt okay, and then i hear my family complains and such, but they still do it anyway, why? I think it's because like for my mom, this is the closest she could get to having a wedding of one of her two children.
Maybe i won't get married or won't have the traditional wedding, maybe my family won't be around to attend it.
Since when i have turned to be such cynical person? I know i was judgmental, and hard to be friends with, but i never knew i was such a selfish person in a family.
Now in a unstable state of life, not sure what is next, or when the next big break is coming, just staying alive is a gift from God.
If i have to reevaluate life, i suppose i should start with what's my role in the family.
I have came to realized how selfish i am when comes to my family, i keep appearing as someone who loves my family, but in actual fact, i use them as an excuse to stay stagnant. I do not realized how much my own parents are giving up in order to let us do what we want.
To be honest, my sister's wedding is tomorrow, and i have no part in the planning or helping out, and i felt okay, and then i hear my family complains and such, but they still do it anyway, why? I think it's because like for my mom, this is the closest she could get to having a wedding of one of her two children.
Maybe i won't get married or won't have the traditional wedding, maybe my family won't be around to attend it.
Since when i have turned to be such cynical person? I know i was judgmental, and hard to be friends with, but i never knew i was such a selfish person in a family.
Now in a unstable state of life, not sure what is next, or when the next big break is coming, just staying alive is a gift from God.
If i have to reevaluate life, i suppose i should start with what's my role in the family.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Sermon
Today during sermon, i thought of something (yea, i wasn't entirely paying attention to the speaker!).
If we are Christians, and we know that our time on earth is limited, and that Jesus would return anytime, then why are we doing so many needless (in my opinion at least) things?
I can only speak for churches i've seen around here, but a lot are fixated on doing bigger things, better buildings, high-tech equipment for broadcasting sermons etc.
But to what end? If all things come to an end, then why waste so much time and effort on things such as the above?
The bulletin I got from the church i visited today mentioned in the front page that we are too focused on activities that we lose sight of what is truly needful.
By building bigger buildings, we are still excluding the poor, we welcome them of course, but in their shoes, would they think they are worthy of even trying to step in the building? The worship team is large and very talented, but how about those who has lower self esteem and those who thinks they are not good enough? Are we overlooking these people?
That being said, God blessed us with material things and money which all to use for His glory, so am not condemning the usage of the money God has willingly let us have, but more towards our internal drives/motives.
When our eyes are fixed on Jesus, a lot of things can be stripped away, a lot of our views should be aligned with Jesus'. But when we fixed our eyes on "Jesus", but the byproduct of it all is we are jolly and happy with things we can have and looking forward to have instead of be joyful and grateful with things we have and looking at the present needs then i think we truly lost sight of what being a Christian is.
I'm no saint, not a qualified preacher too, but i believe that we should focus our skills and strengths on things that are more urgent, and our focus our weaknesses to remind ourselves we need God.
I've mentioned before, the vision a friend implanted in me is still very much alive in my head: A warehouse church, just good enough chair to not break, a mic and a small set of speakers, one guitar, and fans, no air-conds, and we're good to go to have a Sunday worship.
But what happened to that vision? Those who voiced it are now doing other things, lost sight of it, or maybe have other priorities, and all we are left are talk, dreams, things that seems idealistic now.
Maybe, it's time to sit down and pray, again, and again.
If we are Christians, and we know that our time on earth is limited, and that Jesus would return anytime, then why are we doing so many needless (in my opinion at least) things?
I can only speak for churches i've seen around here, but a lot are fixated on doing bigger things, better buildings, high-tech equipment for broadcasting sermons etc.
But to what end? If all things come to an end, then why waste so much time and effort on things such as the above?
The bulletin I got from the church i visited today mentioned in the front page that we are too focused on activities that we lose sight of what is truly needful.
By building bigger buildings, we are still excluding the poor, we welcome them of course, but in their shoes, would they think they are worthy of even trying to step in the building? The worship team is large and very talented, but how about those who has lower self esteem and those who thinks they are not good enough? Are we overlooking these people?
That being said, God blessed us with material things and money which all to use for His glory, so am not condemning the usage of the money God has willingly let us have, but more towards our internal drives/motives.
When our eyes are fixed on Jesus, a lot of things can be stripped away, a lot of our views should be aligned with Jesus'. But when we fixed our eyes on "Jesus", but the byproduct of it all is we are jolly and happy with things we can have and looking forward to have instead of be joyful and grateful with things we have and looking at the present needs then i think we truly lost sight of what being a Christian is.
I'm no saint, not a qualified preacher too, but i believe that we should focus our skills and strengths on things that are more urgent, and our focus our weaknesses to remind ourselves we need God.
I've mentioned before, the vision a friend implanted in me is still very much alive in my head: A warehouse church, just good enough chair to not break, a mic and a small set of speakers, one guitar, and fans, no air-conds, and we're good to go to have a Sunday worship.
But what happened to that vision? Those who voiced it are now doing other things, lost sight of it, or maybe have other priorities, and all we are left are talk, dreams, things that seems idealistic now.
Maybe, it's time to sit down and pray, again, and again.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Colossal
Forgiveness, is one of the hardest thing to do.
What is to forgive? A lot don't realize the power of forgiveness, and even more the cost of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not free, it's paid, and more often than not it's illogical.
To forgive, it's to let go of what has happened, to truly say the person has done you wrong but let's get past this, it's not just flawed forgiveness, whereby you will bring it up, it's the forgiveness where only by grace of God may we perform it.
Those who refuses to forgive, it's not them to be blamed, our human nature motivates us to act this way, it's not right, but not entirely wrong either.
We sway, we move on.
If it doesn't work out. Then move on.
When one day, you can truly forgive, maybe it's the day you learned something precious.
Till that day, just move on.
What is to forgive? A lot don't realize the power of forgiveness, and even more the cost of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not free, it's paid, and more often than not it's illogical.
To forgive, it's to let go of what has happened, to truly say the person has done you wrong but let's get past this, it's not just flawed forgiveness, whereby you will bring it up, it's the forgiveness where only by grace of God may we perform it.
Those who refuses to forgive, it's not them to be blamed, our human nature motivates us to act this way, it's not right, but not entirely wrong either.
We sway, we move on.
If it doesn't work out. Then move on.
When one day, you can truly forgive, maybe it's the day you learned something precious.
Till that day, just move on.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Candles
Just candles lighting in the dark,
Shining, your time is coming up,
Dutifully doing is what it's about,
Even though time is running out.
Lighting up paths with its diminishing light,
Giving vision to those who needs it to those lost,
A small glow yet powerful when all is pitch black,
As it waste away the candle still goes on.
Just as it breathes it last,
Its time has come to past,
Surrounded by darkness' lust,
The candle bites the dust.
The candle soon to be forgotten,
But its duty never forsaken,
We are but passing candles,
Just humans jumping over hurdles.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Figuring Love
Love has been a subject for many songs, movies, dramas, motivation, fights and what not. Why is love so important?
I do not presume to be an expert in the topic of love, rather i'm figuring out still what this really is.
In the bible, it is written that there are 3 things: faith, hope and love, and that love is the greatest among them all.
I could see why, because God the Father, in His Son's worst moment decided to turn his face away from Him in order to demonstrate the greatest love of all - to let His Son die for all our sins in order to give way for sinners like us to go to God.
It is also written the there is no greater love than for a friend to lay down his life for another friend.
But outside the context of religion, love also prevails in songs, where some of it misconstrued it as sex, some of it like a fairy tale.
But what is it really?
I wish i knew the answer, love isn't easy, it isn't easy to say it to someone because to love someone is to accept the person for who he/she is, and that is a problem to me, it is hard to accept a lot of people for who they are, same goes for others towards me, to love me is to accept me and i know i am not easy to be loved.
The problem with love is that it can lead people to do the dumbest of things - suicide, kidnapping, rape.
This is what i label as perverted love, the love they have for one another is perverted, very much like sodom and gomorrah.
But the other end of love is when Abraham, despite all the despicable things the people were doing in those cities, pleaded with God to spare them.
Hosea, when his unfaithful wife ran off repeatedly, his love for her is so great that it overwrites all of the things she has done and still win her back.
Joseph, his love for God was so great that he was not tempted when he was seduced in order to preserve the sanctity of the lady's marriage and to preserve his body for a lover God set apart for him.
Love, so pure, so powerful.
i'm beginning to fall in love with a person, and in time i want to let her know that.
I do not presume to be an expert in the topic of love, rather i'm figuring out still what this really is.
In the bible, it is written that there are 3 things: faith, hope and love, and that love is the greatest among them all.
I could see why, because God the Father, in His Son's worst moment decided to turn his face away from Him in order to demonstrate the greatest love of all - to let His Son die for all our sins in order to give way for sinners like us to go to God.
It is also written the there is no greater love than for a friend to lay down his life for another friend.
But outside the context of religion, love also prevails in songs, where some of it misconstrued it as sex, some of it like a fairy tale.
But what is it really?
I wish i knew the answer, love isn't easy, it isn't easy to say it to someone because to love someone is to accept the person for who he/she is, and that is a problem to me, it is hard to accept a lot of people for who they are, same goes for others towards me, to love me is to accept me and i know i am not easy to be loved.
The problem with love is that it can lead people to do the dumbest of things - suicide, kidnapping, rape.
This is what i label as perverted love, the love they have for one another is perverted, very much like sodom and gomorrah.
But the other end of love is when Abraham, despite all the despicable things the people were doing in those cities, pleaded with God to spare them.
Hosea, when his unfaithful wife ran off repeatedly, his love for her is so great that it overwrites all of the things she has done and still win her back.
Joseph, his love for God was so great that he was not tempted when he was seduced in order to preserve the sanctity of the lady's marriage and to preserve his body for a lover God set apart for him.
Love, so pure, so powerful.
i'm beginning to fall in love with a person, and in time i want to let her know that.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Man Of God (again)
Sometimes I'm a liar sometimes I'm a fake
sometimes I'm a hypocrite that everybody hates
sometimes I'm a poet sometimes I'm a preacher
sometimes I watch life go by sitting on the bleacher
But I've never been left alone
in any problem that I've known
even though I'm to blame
there were times when things were dark
and I've been known to miss the mark
but someone fixed my aim
Sometimes I'm a man of God
sometimes I'm alright
sometimes I lay down close my eyes
and pray to God
Sometimes I don't feel good
it's hard to start the day
it's hard to climb the obstacles
that sometimes come my way
if I make it, I'm a good man
am I a bad man if I fail?
I know I'm never good enough
so I let grace prevail
But I've never been left alone
in any problem that I've known
even though I'm to blame
there were times when things were dark
and I've been known to miss the mark
but someone fixed my aim
Sometimes I'm a man of God
sometimes I'm alright
sometimes I lay down close my eyes
and pray to God I'm ready for the night
-Man of God, Audio Adrenaline-
I'm not the man i used to be, but can i become what God wants me to?
sometimes I'm a hypocrite that everybody hates
sometimes I'm a poet sometimes I'm a preacher
sometimes I watch life go by sitting on the bleacher
But I've never been left alone
in any problem that I've known
even though I'm to blame
there were times when things were dark
and I've been known to miss the mark
but someone fixed my aim
Sometimes I'm a man of God
sometimes I'm alright
sometimes I lay down close my eyes
and pray to God
Sometimes I don't feel good
it's hard to start the day
it's hard to climb the obstacles
that sometimes come my way
if I make it, I'm a good man
am I a bad man if I fail?
I know I'm never good enough
so I let grace prevail
But I've never been left alone
in any problem that I've known
even though I'm to blame
there were times when things were dark
and I've been known to miss the mark
but someone fixed my aim
Sometimes I'm a man of God
sometimes I'm alright
sometimes I lay down close my eyes
and pray to God I'm ready for the night
-Man of God, Audio Adrenaline-
I'm not the man i used to be, but can i become what God wants me to?
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Waves of Time
The web has been flooded with stories of a recent rally, and everyone has an opinion, and by right they should. Everyone should have the right to say something, but must be a prudent reader, have some common sense to stand on the side of the fence which you think is right.
I am for the rally, anything to do with moving forward is always deemed worthy in my eyes, thought my presence was excluded that day, but my heart remains present and the cause i hold dear to me.
===
I had a good time in Sarawak, being at the Rainforest World Music Festival, good fun with good friends, but as all good things does, it comes to and end and hurled back to where i am before i left.
Picking up my slacks, facing trials as usual, what's the difference?
Yesterday a friend told me the gospel as it was, basic, basic instructions, principle of parsimony, simplicity at its best.
And it was refreshing, instead of the convoluted crap we have nowadays.
And he was right, faith is needed when comes to God and us, to make sense of it all would explode our brains.
And more than ever, i need faith.
Pray for me.
Would you kindly?
I am for the rally, anything to do with moving forward is always deemed worthy in my eyes, thought my presence was excluded that day, but my heart remains present and the cause i hold dear to me.
===
I had a good time in Sarawak, being at the Rainforest World Music Festival, good fun with good friends, but as all good things does, it comes to and end and hurled back to where i am before i left.
Picking up my slacks, facing trials as usual, what's the difference?
Yesterday a friend told me the gospel as it was, basic, basic instructions, principle of parsimony, simplicity at its best.
And it was refreshing, instead of the convoluted crap we have nowadays.
And he was right, faith is needed when comes to God and us, to make sense of it all would explode our brains.
And more than ever, i need faith.
Pray for me.
Would you kindly?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Thomas Gown Affair
So many weddings next few months, including my sis'
So should be fun, though the idea of hot bridesmaid is not something i look forward to nowadays.
Met a friend couple days back, and this person seemed worn out and more depressed when i last saw him a little less than a year ago.
Work has got to him.
Faith. Hope. Love.
Hope is important, thought Love might be the greatest among them all, but i personally think Hope works just as important and definitely not mutually exclusive.
Must always hope things will change for the better.
My friends just needs to have a bit hope that with the decision that has and going to be made will be of good towards that person.
That being said, always hope this country will turn out for the better.
Let's hope for a good year ahead.
So far, 2011 is rocking.
So should be fun, though the idea of hot bridesmaid is not something i look forward to nowadays.
Met a friend couple days back, and this person seemed worn out and more depressed when i last saw him a little less than a year ago.
Work has got to him.
Faith. Hope. Love.
Hope is important, thought Love might be the greatest among them all, but i personally think Hope works just as important and definitely not mutually exclusive.
Must always hope things will change for the better.
My friends just needs to have a bit hope that with the decision that has and going to be made will be of good towards that person.
That being said, always hope this country will turn out for the better.
Let's hope for a good year ahead.
So far, 2011 is rocking.
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