Monday, October 01, 2012


Dear God,

I need you as my anchor right now. I am 26, and i am still stuck in a rut. I have no priorities in my life that is good, i am messed up, if you do not save me, who else would?



Sunday, June 17, 2012

Half a Year

Half a year has gone by in 2012, presenting us the end of the world, the heat is up the weather is insane, life isn't getting any easier.

The inner sanctuary has been invaded,
Lost of space feels the frustrated,
The scorching sun rides through the crack,
Melting, dissolving the trodden track.

Run, run in every direction,
Save yourselves from destruction,
Survive the apocalypse till the morning dawn,
Then you will reach the future's front.

We do what we can when we can,
to build a future to what we planned,
We drenched ourselves in tiredness,
And drives ourselves to our own madness.

The blue or the red pill?
The decision is up to you still.
Let's go to the depths of the rabbit's hole,
And let's see what events unfold.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

That time of the month

The usual saying says that girls have that time of the month, hence better stay away because they'd be emo and have unpredictable mood swings.

I also have have that time of the month (or months).

I've noticed that i will be emo and down after a long "high" period, which is normal, seeing that there is a theory of regression.

So here it comes, raining, life in the pits, future uncertain.

Where am i?
I am:

  • poor still, at the age of 26
  • still not quite sure of direction in lfie
  • just like i was a year ago
  • still happy i got a bit more freedom than others at the cost of my "stable" future
What have we become? We became cynics! CYNICS!

Recently there was an uproar over a viral video stating a tyrant kidnapping children to be child soldiers and if you are ever around the internet, you should have seen it at least in the headlines.

I was considerably upset, because the internet age has converted us into people who are distrustful and just want to show off how "smart" we are. I applaud the internet for making things that were previously unknown more known to us who are comfortable in our positions.

But the amount of oppositions of that particular video has made me wail in anger. What turns out to be an awareness cause turned to hatred and turned to bullying of those who thinks they are better than the rest!

They gave opposing articles, videos, and informed the rest of the world how smart they were by not falling into gimmicks and emotional manipulation tactics. But i say to these people, have you fucking done a single thing in your life otherwise?
If no, fuck off! Stop trying to put a cork into something that can motivate people to do something, at least they are doing something. Are you? Cynics!

Just tired of having people saying otherwise to me and to the rest of the world.

We live and die by our decisions, we don't need idiots to tell us and direct us when it already tough to make our own decision.

Let me live, let me live.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012


Regardless of what most people say, i really appreciate the rain, it makes the weather that more bearable, the sound of rain pouring down onto the floor is soothing and the thought of it cleansing the earth is comforting.

A quarter of the year is almost done what has happened?

Death, memories, excitement, opportunities, fatigue, sore and all kinds of things are happening, and yet, still not that fulfilling, i love meeting with people, and through them i always learn a bit more about myself and others.

As life continues to pick up, i just hope that it is for the better.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Year Ahead

The one thing to remind myself, is that i am 26 and still as poor as ever.

The other thing to remind myself, is that i'm gonna make this a kickass year.

So, let's hope for something good to turn out!

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Being Perfect

I am a broken man in a broken world.
For what good is a perfect man in a perfect world?
He has not tasted hunger, and have not been overjoyed when received food.
Has not thirst and be restored at a sip of water.

He knows no sadness, no tears rolling down his cheek.
No hope for there is no need of hope.
No despair, no love for all is perfect.

There is no darkness to contrast the light.
No evil to have good.

No joy of helping another, no appreciation of what is dying.
No pain, no fear.
No experience of the joy of being in love.
For what good is a man if he is perfect and everything is nothing but perfect?

He knows no sorrow for there is none.
No hatred, no imperfections to repair, no moral values to consider.
No thoughts that tears him apart, no decisions that will impact him or any other.
No sowing, no reaping, no putting your hands in the dirt.

He has everything he needs and wants, and even that is naught because everything is perfect.

A man truly lives when he sweat tears and blood.
When he finds hope amidst hopeless times.
Salvation on the other end of the spectrum.

A man truly loves when he finds it, truly gives because others needs it.
He will mourn and wail, weeps and cries.
But he will also laugh and smile, appreciate and be grateful.
For all that is imperfect, it makes up a meaningful life.

He could die unfulfilled, but he dies and lived.
He could die striving for an unattainable goal, but he dies trying.
He could die and suffer the most horrific death, but hoped.

He enjoys the birth of his child, and feels lost when the child dies.
He could lose the battle, but died defending what he believes him.
None of that can come to pass in a perfect world.

I am a broken man in a broken world.
And there is nothing i would change of it.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

She's going

...she will be gone.