Sunday, October 25, 2009


I don't understand why girls like makeup


I've been doing it for the past 5 days?


Why subject yourself to torture?!?!?

On top of it all, i look PRETTY, not even handsome
Apart from that, the makeup people also ok looking la
unless it's because of makeup!
the horror!!

I mean a girl can look chun but if take off makeup then how???
My weak heart cannot endure!
My eyes will burn!

So how come it's such a BIG INDUSTRY??
I know why
I just don't get the logic
Shut up
i'm a guy

Friday, October 23, 2009

Superstar Syndrome

I think Steven Curtis Chapman said bout having a rockstar syndrome because he was gaining a lot of fame back in his earlier days, and how easy it is to lose focus.

Well, sometimes we all fall victim to it, be it thinking we are -holier-than-thou or that all other departments students are idiots who cannot think intellectually (which i really think so! HAHA) or be it just being a douche because your role is "higher".

No, i don't deny that there are hierarchies and we do always have someone above us, but it's not right when it's uncalled for.
Case in point: I announced my intentions when i go into a room where priorities are
given higher to people above me, and wasn't my intention to do anything that would jeopardize that priority, so why the heck would you wanna SAY IT OUT LOUD that i was to be put beneath you? Are you that insecure?

Superstar syndrome, or maybe it's face problem, i mean my face, don't seem to get along well with some of the people. Someone mention
ed smile more, maybe i should la, or i just go ask people why they don't get along with me.

Hey if i asked a girl if she was lesbian even if i don't know her and she still is my friend, i think safe enough to ask "what the heck is wrong with you?" to these people right?

yes, i am gonna do that.

Sunday, October 18, 2009 the window

As far as i could remember, there were a few best friends in life.

One particularly was a Spitz breed dog name Daisy.
Now Daisy had golden brown fur and was always delightful in the presence of people, i always thought she had the knack for acrobatics as she loves jumping and standing on two to get my attention.

One day, mom and i went out to the store, and when we got back, she was gone. But the gate wasn't opened, everything seemed in place, we searched the neighborhood, but we couldn't find her. No way she could have ran off, we surmised she was kidnapped, probably was my fault, because at that time, there was a free gift thing going on in one of the electrical shops, and we already obtained one free gift, but our letterbox had another, so we went again, this time Daisy was then taken away, could be a ploy to get us out of the house so she could be kidnapped, i am not sure if that was what really went down, but as far as my memory goes, that was how i remembered it.

The second one i remembered was Junior, no idea how that name came about. The dog one day went into my uncle's shop, and we decided to adopt it, Junior was either deaf or he was called by another name, he never knew or learned to respond to his name even after so long. He was a mixed breed, i at least know he is part shih-tzu.
Junior lived with us for awhile, though he was with ticks and very active, he became someone that was part of the family, we took him everywhere, even to Ipoh, where we would go on waterfall trips and he would be there as well.
I was initially afraid of him, given that i was pretty young, but then i just came to appreciate him.
He always had this fur problem, which poked his eyes, we always cut it when we can, but one day maggots filled the eyes and was eating him away alive.

We obviously brought him to the neighborhood vet, whose fees we couldn't afford, but we didn't want to put him down, so the vet kindly said he will do the operation for free and will put him up for adoption, and whoever willing to pay the fee will get Junior.
We consented and that was the last i saw him.
As with Daisy, i wept for a day or two, and was depressed for quite awhile.
The dog my neighbor reared looks like Junior, but he wasn't.
I don't know how he is doing.
I just wept.

I think from then on i didn't want to be attached to any more animals, and i didn't.
Till come 2009, sis brought back Pepper, a Lhasa Apso breed tibetan dog. Not much of a connection really, i tried not to, given past experiences.
But i couldn't resist, i still didn't do much with him, my family did more, but i play with him when i can and discipline him.
Then on Friday, the most recent one, he ran out of the house, onto the road and got into a hit-and-run.
Sister brought it home, he seemed fine, he didn't make a noise, and his eyes was still big and he was trying to move, but he moved a bit then fall, moved a bit and fall, he tried to draw closer to me at one point, but he was coughing blood and panting, we tried to rush him to the vet hospital. But he died halfway. So we went back home instead.
As with the others, i wept.
The whole day today didn't feel right, tv shows wasn't making me laugh, i just slept.
I could have prevented him from running out, what was i thinking? But too late.

I apologize to those whom i said doggie heaven wasn't real, i hope it exist, i don't know why, i hope they do, even with Pepper i already not as attached and i feel so much. He is buried in the lawn in front of my house. At least this time, he is closer to home than the rest.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Red Hot Chili..

Sometimes the line between caring and not caring is blurred.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Happy Birthday :)


I've been a non-committal christian, if what's left of it still can be called a christian, for the past year, and so, as someone has pointed it out, what's my problem?

No problem.

When i look at it, do i miss the years i spent in church and serving? I've gotten used to it.
Do i miss doing stuff with people i grew up with? Yea.

There is no problem.

If anything, it's between me and The One up there.

But i'd tell you this:

You fucking retard, you asswipe dick face horseshit, you know nothing about what the fuck i am going thru, you might as well go fuck ya fucking face in the toilet and eat shit you fucktard, hope your balls grow out of ya mouth so at least ya fucking mouth has something useful in it rather than the fucking words you have to say to me and my fucking life, i hope you fuck yourself and rot to death wherever you are you son of a bitch, you go screw the whole fucking world up and now you wanna fucking screw me? Go to hell, yea, go, i hope i don't see you there asshole.

If you've made past that, good, what was the first thought that went thru ya mind?
That i don't live up to my name? That i am a hypocrite, good, that was what i was going for, because you see, if there is a problem, the problem is you. The log in my own eye? I see them.
Those stuff i wrote up there? Maybe i do talk this way, maybe i was talking about someone or something, or i just came up with that while typing, but i guess i don't owe you an explanation, think of what you will of me.

Think about it.

-"That's right"-
(Courtesy of HocMun)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Another couple engaged. In a month a wedding to attend, in a few months another wedding to attend, then in years to come i'll hate weddings.

Saturday, October 03, 2009


Not been updating awhile, got spammer at my chatbox, those spammers really know how to spam.

Assignment rush is here, birthdays are abound, mid-terms are here. What have i been doing? Nothing, zilch, that's right, nothing.

It's the last semester syndrome! Ok i gotta stop using that as an excuse.

Ok, i had a few talks with friends these few weeks, one was that this friend of mine is attracted to a girl because she is "spiritually mature", yea, that's right, i am gonna invade this territory and make a big deal out of it.
Good, you think the girl is spiritually mature (christian wise) because she serves in church and act all holy moly? The fact that a person serves more and goes to church regularly, to be fair, is an act that says a lot about them, about their priorities and where their heart lies, granted, that that is the only thing we can see externally.
Did you inspect every aspect of her life? Is she like this 24/7? How you know she is not a bitch in real life?
Oh wait, you don't think... right, cannot be, i'm sure the fact the girl is probably BEAUTIFUL has nothing to do with the attraction, i'm sure that some girl who is probably ridiculed all her life for her looks and physical body, and devotes her entire life to God and probably can be said is the mother theresa of malaysia will be EQUALLY as attractive to you, right?
I'm sure spiritual maturity is the BIGGEST factor you look at, and EVERYTHING else is a bonus, yeap, i hope you can live with it, i really do.
You know what is spiritual maturity, i don't have to see it to know it, that's right, sounds too "radical"? Oh well, that's all i gonna say about it right here.
(If you think i'm talking about you, no, it's based on a true conversation, but i don't hate you or dislike you, you'll never know who is gonna read this and start giving me hell again. heh.)

On a totally unrelated note,

Apparently girls i go for are gay. I have gay dreams as well. Am i gay? No, just means i am accepting of every one, love the sinners hate the sin.

As for the girls i like turns out gay, would mean i like challenging myself, and i am a risk taker, all the more i am awesome and that i see that there are no mountains i cannot climb, an admirable trait, yeap, that's right.

How i love when things goes right for me.

Can you guess the songs? Kanye is a douche!