Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Looking our for #1

Everyone's looking out for number 1, that is themselves.

It's every man for himself.

Why? Well Samurai X aptly puts it - Survival of the Fittest.

Most of the time, every little thing we do we do it for ourselves. No matter how much we claim to do it for the greater good or for some higher causes, the hidden agenda would be doing it for ourselves to elevate our status, to gain something or to protect ourselves.

think of it, when a guy does something that is deemed noble, where does he do it? In public. Call me cynical, but there's a whole lot of truth in that statement than most people give credit for.

Maybe i came from a school that most people consider as trash, my eyes seen things in people that most people do not (haha), so when i see someone doing stuff like that, it could be that guy truly is doing it out of his own kind heart, which i very much doubt, or he is doing it for his own purpose(s).

Yea, if only we will stop looking out for the real # 1 that is Christ our Lord, maybe the world won't seem such a broken a place...

Uni life getting tougher by the minute...and i don't mean the workload. I think it's just me trying to make sense of everything. Oh well...

" When the last trumpets voice shall sound,
O then I may in him be found,
Clothed in his righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before his throne."

Saturday, January 20, 2007


Went for paintball this morning with a couple of churchmates and couple of people from sunway or monash. (i think)

Well, i was hoping for more manly bruises on my body so i can show it off, but darn it, i got away without a scratch man!!

Oh well, got there a bit late this morning, we were briefed by this guy then we were off. To keep the long story short, i probably didn't do as well as Aku did when he played (read it from his blog)

I officially got shot in the face once because i ran out of bullets or pellets and i ran towards the enemy to get shot. Funny ordeal, yet somehow i can't quite put it in words. Maybe it's because of all the aching i got in my body. Tiring sport indeed. May not be as cheap as inline skating, but quite fun.

ahh, but the best reward was probably all the CS, Metal Gear Solid and Splinter Cell training i received for the past, erm, 7 years. It paid off! whoo-hoo. My frags weren't the highest, but man, it's enough for me.

Oh, right, there was a hot girl there too, but hot HOT kind, but hot erm, hot kind?Nice, and cool personality, plus i heard she's darn smart. So meaning she'll get a well paying job while i won't, i can leech it off? haha, oops. Anyway. Hot.

This is the life man, Guns and Girls, sweettt.
"If you're in prison don't watch this (show), because the truth will set you free." -Stephen Colbert

Monday, January 15, 2007

What If...? -Episode 2-

Assignments coming in, money flowing out.

Life's normal.

Too bad this year's chinese new year will be a short one, since Uni only give us four days of holidays!! And lecturers won't want to compromise!!! NO!!

Oh well, kinda lazy to do something beneficial, so i'll just jump right to my 2nd episode of "What if...?"

This week's topic: What if Lordson was a girl? (apologies to put the focus on me, when it gets boring, erm, well, when it does then only i think of something else)

Well, contrary to rumours and myth, i am indeed a boy ok???
Does liking pink means i'm a girl?? And pink i like because it looks good on girls ma.

So anyway, i think i make an attractive looking girl. You know, i got the figure of 8, nice face shape, nice height, maybe i can do without the eczema bit. I probably be more vain and lose my specs.

Pierce my ears and nose. Get a tattoo above my butt.

Wait, on that piercing part, i think i'll pierce like 10 holes on each ear for my ever cravings for earrings. Then i'd have lipsticks, erm, make 'em dark blue. i'd wear a bikini outside with my clothes on. Like the picture below, i possibly will look like that la.

I'll probably be into really hot bad boys, maybe on a motorbike, riding the streets of KL like 3 am in the morning.

I'll go clubbing every night and shake my booty till it becomes old and saggy.

I'll be pregnant y the age 15, get married by 14, be an alcoholic and a widow by age 30 and die by age 30 1/2.

End in hell and burn for the rest of my eternity.

So, erm, i think i'll end up like that la.
Why can't i be a good girl?
Well, erm, if i'm hot and all, i think i'll really use it to my advantage. Religion will probably be nothing to me.

So in the end, God made me the way it should be. Being a male and having slightly below normal looks. It's like a girl stuck in a guy's body look. But nevertheless, a macho looking guy right? Right? Seriously, right? Wait, don't comment on that point!! Forget it!! I'm happy the way i am!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Happy Blessed Belated 22nd Birthday!!

Supposed to put this up yesterday, which was also my sis' birthday, but couldn't log in for who knows what reason. So here it is now.

Happy birthday to my sister!
22 years old man.
Too bad i've only known her for 21 years.

Well, what can i say about my sis?
She seems to have a hard life (So she claims), but yea, maybe she was too concern about her physique. Maybe it's because no one understood her. It could be lotsa reasons.

Whatever reason it may be, i know God has the best reason for her being born to this world. I do think that birthdays are sometime a reminder of why God placed us here in the first place, that is to fulfill His will.

My sister, though we aren't as close as others would have been. But i think we understand each other. We've been through a lot. Not the same problems. But equally as taxing. I'm both proud and sad to say that no one in this world really understands what we went through. Not to say that our problems are the most complexing ones, but they are unique in their own way.
Only a few would know what we truly are. There are many whose life has been a bed of roses(comparatively) and yet still complain about things. Even if we do not have that luxury of a comfortable life, i think we by God's grace pulled through thus far.

Honestly, even people we knew for so long tend to be stranger to us. It's not they are at fault, but it is because they do not know what true suffering means. I say this not to provoke anyone, but really it's the truth. Even speaking now, we are going through some rough times, but who can tell? Not as if people are that concern to ask what is going on. To be fair, we did our part by even trying to communicate with others, but it tends to be a one way affair. So we done our part, God be our witness.

So here i am, saying i love my sister Dewgem very much. I will not tolerate anyone saying bad things about her. I will die for her. Even if she thinks the world treats her cruelly and many shun her presence, at least i;m still here, and God is here.

So Happy birthday sister. I hope by this post, people will come to understand you a bit better. The world may not seem like a colourful place. But giving it a chance, maybe some day, some people will paint your world to be as colourful as i think it should be.

It's never about the world,
nor the things that surrounds you.
It's never about the people whom you're with.
It's never about the life you thought you should have,
instead it's about you and God and what He made you to be.
Never be put down by words that bears no meaning,
never shed a tear for things that has no eternity.
But laugh and cry to our Lord Jesus,
for it is He who truly is your companion throughout the years to come.

Happy birthday!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Boredom Thoughts

Well, my holidays are up! new sem tomorrow!! So why am i feeling so...erm..uncertain??

Maybe it's because i saw the course outline and there are a lot of work involved!
Maybe it's because i'm thinking my life is wasted on petty things!
Maybe it's because i don't know what the future holds!
Maybe, just maybe i'm afraid of what God has planned for me...

Been thinking a lot again. That happens when i really have too much time to myself. So sometimes i like to be busy, ya know, with tv shows or uni, so i wouldn't dwell so much in my own thoughts. Even if i did, i wouldn't have many people to tell to, not that many listens or even care hehe. So thank God for this blog. A place where i can just write and write and write. Even if it offends people, still, it's sweett i tell ya.

So here are my share of thought:

Firstly, i think this world is darn huge... I wanna see everything!! Do tons of stuff!! Well, God didn't give me enough dough to do it. I might be even be stuck in Malaysia for the rest of my life! We don't believe in reincarnation! So i only have one life!! Quite sad when ya think about it. I wanna go deep sea fishing. I wanna ski. I wanna go see the pyramids. I wanna do so much, but one life, no cash. Oh well....

Then i went on thinking, since i saw that video about the guy who is born with no limbs still living it out for Christ. Look at me, complaining about eczema! I still got hands and feet!! What am i doing for God???? NOTHING!!! I must repent. That's why even if i dread going back to uni, i still wanna, i can do for God so much more there than sitting home.

I wanna go live it all out for God, i wanna be someone God wants me to be. I can't imagine sitting in an office whole day filing papers or typing. I cannot. It seem so wasteful! I need to go out.

On top of that i need a girl who will follow me even if i'm poor. ahaha.

I guess the best thought i have for the week is that.... no matter what happens in life. Jesus is there.
You see, we like to think we can hide from God just because we don't see him. Inf act, we do, oh yes we do. Look at the sky, the animals, the wonders of nature, the sun the created things, look at the people around you. How can we say we don't see God doing things? How can we deny the existence of God??
We like to think God can be summoned upon anytime.
How do i know?
See, i like this example. If Prime Minister were to come to your house today. what would you do? Sweep the floor, brush ya teeth over and over again, dress ya best.
But when we go to church, Jesus, the king of kings, Lord of lords coming. The Mighty one who died on the cross is coming, what do we do? We come late, we turn on our cellphones during worship. We dress sloppily. We complain. We disrespect God so much i think if He wasn't so forgiving, we all be dead by now. Seriously.

We can't do this anymore. We gotta stop living the life we want to because it is not ours to live. we didn't pay the ultimate price for it. We need to let God take over. we need to.

All in all, when you're alone, Jesus is there.
When you think you're not loved, Jesus is there.
When life is crashing down, Jesus is tjere.
When you're depressed, Jesus is there.
When your friends don't want you, Jesus does.
When you feel abandoned, Jesus sticks.
When you think you wanna end ya life, Jesus is life, you can't take it away.
When life is tough, Jesus holds ya hands.
When you are proud, Jesus humbles you.
When you think you wanna give back to Jesus and have no idea how, say thank you to Jesus.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Burning Feet!

2007 is here! Oh well, felt quite emo on new year's eve. So sent out a couple of emo text messages. Sort of a new year resolution kinda thing. I broke one of it the very same day! haha!

Oh, thanks to good suggestions and comments on my What If...? section. Already keeping trackj of suggested topics on What If...? Will blog it once i got some new ideas. Wouldn't wanna bore you readers if i kept posting it. Wouldn't be fun ya know? just like watching a tv series, gotta wait in anticipation!

But do go to hocmunism's blog and read about his Why Not? post, kinda interesting and thought provoking too. You can obtain the link by clicking the Hoc Mun's-Shalom on the right of this blog.

These past few days was more of resting time. Things slowed down a bit. This friday gotta resgiter for subjects for new sem. New sem starts next week! Oh well, here goes uni life again.

Holidays went by so fast. It's good too. It means i was having fun, indeed i was. year 2006 ended well.

2006 in review:
A bit cliche, but well, ain't life full of cliches?
Well, basically 2006 was like a rollercoaster. Many different experiences, many things happened.
But all in all, God was faithful. Always has been, always will.
I guess my faith was tested with trials of fire. ya know? And i sorta failed in a sense.
From then on i wasn't the same( in certain ways). Some felt it, some didn't. those who felt it half of them said it was good half said it wasn't.
But oh well, now i know that my faith is real now, before that it was like a thing where you believed it was real. Until God decides to test it. Then only you know whether it's real or not.

Had lotsa relationship problems. But nothing i can't resolve. Started uni, sweet experience but still fitting in.

Well, bybye 2006! It was a swell year!!

My friends, if i have neglected you in a way or two. It's because i'm bad at keeping my friends. So hopefully i'll change you know. Maybe really call you out to yam cha rather than just saying it ( you have no idea how many people i told them i'd call but didn't call to go for a drink hehe)

Oh well, before i end. I like what katie holmes said in Batman begins. She said that Bruce Wayne is the mask he is wearing and that batman is the real him.

Once in awhile we put on this person to show the public we're normal and fitting in. But so many are not so well off. Guess we have to find these people and help them y'know? If you have watched Dexter, you'd know what i mean.

Life Kills. Seriously. -Dexter