Thursday, December 31, 2009

Epilogue.. for now.

Thus brings us to current times..

As far as 2009 goes, a lot has happened, i found lots of new friends, my dog died, i went thailand, had an argument with my dad, have nephew, played in prom, got my degree, went roadtrips, saw a counselor, went to 2 group counseling, take pictures for an interview, take a picture for a product, joined the canticle singers as silent roles, put on makeup, went to see meteor shower, had bacon party, car got stolen.

If i were to name all, it would take up a lot.
Suffice to say, a lot has gone, a lot still going on, and the year ahead should be somewhat interesting.

What really took me by surprise this year, and how my uni ended was the fact i have never felt so much responsibility thrown onto my lap before, the things i think about, the things i do, the weighing of decisions, the balance keeping, just wasn't something i like to carry with me right now.

Dreams put on hold, desires suppressed, feelings masked, words unspoken, these are just few of the many things that i supposed most of us feel when we grow up. as normal as it seems, it shouldn't be this way any longer than it should.

Call me naive, idealist, dreamer, but there are still things in life that are worth pursuing despite being worthless in some eyes.

So, as uni ended, and it's been a bumpy ride, to sum everything up as my counselor puts it - there will always be choices.

Choices indeed.
Let's anticipate what forthcoming choices i will have to make.
-Bah, Emo Fail-

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Chapter - Getting There

Winter '08
Age: 22
Status: WTF

After CF camp of the previous year, finally got into a group of friends that i actually can work with ease, with my own style and still get good marks on group assignments. Was happy.

Unfortunately (or fortunate, it's a double-edged sword), things took the worst of turns, being fragile inside and illogically flawed in the brains (men have two heads, and one is almost zero efficiency when comes to rational thinking), made some really bad decisions.

Cost me health (though some still speculate it's because i cut my hair till an unacceptable (short) length), friends, worth and hope. Was the worst of times, was the turning point in uni life.

True friends remained, acquaintances wore colored glasses and people hear what they wanna hear.
Life got simpler. "Friends", deleted. Good riddance.

Swore off certain relationships. Got back into the system, had my best semester ever.
Life was slightly better.

Christmas, cut hair, fell sick a week, WTF.

"Traded your worth for these scars, for your only company." - Simon, Lifehouse.

-Fading Away-

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

.. digress a lil to say..

-Happy Birthday!-

Monday, December 21, 2009

Chapter - Getting Around

Winter '07
Age: 21
Status: Getting a footing

Getting used to how the system works - you attend lectures, get into groups, do some work, then you sit for an exam.
The other part is you make friends, you have a trial period, then everyone finds their comfort zone and remain there, for an extended period of time.

Sometimes you win sometimes you lose, you could never really keep count because it was so fast moving, one minute you are the next you're not.

Probably should have counted the cost before i start building, the cost of sacrificing time and effort was not enough to justify the outcome that ultimately leads to a point of descension in following year(s).

Nevertheless, gained enough interest to what i am studying to carry on and in hopes that it will prove useful in days to come.

Still holding on to friends of the past, maybe not ready to let go, maybe because i worry about making new ones that would see right through me the first time round, but all in all, life goes on.

You win some you lose some.


Sunday, December 20, 2009


Summer '06
Age: 20
Status: Directionless

As i completed my STPM with mediocre grades, worked a part time job as a teacher, was prepared to embrace life in university, a public one at that. However, hopes were dashed when i could not secure a place in any university, worried, i applied to UTAR, but in the meanwhile hoping that my appeal to the education board would come to fruition and that my months of waiting would not be in vain.

It was in vain, not only was my appeal rejected, UTAR has refused to accept me because i have waited too long to enrol in its program. Thus began the journey to find other universities, a private one at that. My mind was already set really, to go to HELP.

The next 3 years of my life, i was to fulfill my desires of which i wanted to do in public universities, but now here. But, as life would has it, it always seem a little different than what you planned.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It is finished

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Star Track!

There is hope yet! Not everyone has become a bimbo!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Happy Birthday Mom!

It's a cliche

But i think you're probably your early forties, i might be wrong, but hey, does it matter?

It's not like you had a great life, maybe you wished for something better, something else?
Something that you could live through your kids.

But all in all, your mere existence was nothing short of a godsend.
Yea, this kind of speech has been made a million times, and there is a good reason why it never grew old.

And i at least know the reason, and i am grateful.

So here's a post dedicated to my mom on her birthday today. It may not be much, it may not be glamorous, it's just real.

Monday, December 07, 2009


okok, will blog properly later.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

That Feeling

I think it's kinda funny, pay attention to the lyrics!