Thursday, October 30, 2008
Are you liberated?
Why get pinned down by all the emotions?
Sign up now to be a Christian.
and our GodFather (God and Father) will look out for you.
Don't be victim of life.
But take life with your bare hands.
Don't be helpless.
Be worldless instead.
Have i convince you yet?
No? Ask the many Christians around you!
If they can't answer you, God can!
Sign up today and receive complimentary eternal life!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I contend that being emo is a God given thing, to experience emotions and use it appropriately.
But nowadays the trend is to overindulge in emo-ing.
You say i'm emo, allow me to redirect you to tons of blogs where you get emo just by clicking.
Overindulging in oneself in emo-ing is an selfish act.
Seeing the world with your colored lenses.
As if your problems are bigger than others.
You feel cheated in life because someone something let you down.
Get over it.
Stupid emo. Stupid tickle me emo.
Life is more than that, don't you agree?
Let us be Acts Christians once again. They are happy. United under one God.
God created time, and we humans endure it, the time we are conceived till death robbed us of life, time will be there, aging us, moving us.
Did you ever stop to care that this world and time is moving too fast for your own good?
I honestly believe in this bustling world full of things to do has robbed our perception of living. We live to die, its that the chief end of it all?
I wonder, if people truly stop to see things as they are. Shall we wait until we are close to our end that we only realize life is for the living?
Take time off, see the world, you only have one life to.
On a different note, my trip this dec is gonna be a fun one!
With the lack of manpower, the lack of resources and with our empty hands (So to speak), i am gonna wait on God to use whatever we have and don't have for His purpose.
Nesh, Daniel, Nie, come home quick!
I get to see you all one week only, so make it back, screw your time with family and other friends first MUAHAHA
And spend time with me first. hehehe
Friday, October 24, 2008
Living in Christ has never been better, it goes to show how much humans have erred in their ways, but they are self-sufficient, and not knowing what it is to give up worldly pleasures that are temporary for the Eternal Joy of God.
Today, during cell, right outside my cell leader's house, 3 of my church mate was robbed at parang point. 4 person, with two motorbikes, and they challenged us to call police some more. My church mates screamed when it happened, so we rushed out to shout and scare the robbers, they weren't scared but just ran off after hurling some comments at us.
All in all, a handphone was lost, tears were shed, bruises were apparent, and it wasn't a pleasant night. Thank God no one was hurt though and at least the police efficient enough to come hear our story.
Life is short, it really is, what are we doing with it?
Use us. =)
Below are some pics few of us took, for fun, doesn't represent anything or states what we stand for. Just random fun! (no formal approval from other people in the pic for me to post this up, its on facebook anyway, and also i think they don't read this blog =p)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog - Brand New Day song!
Don't know what it is?
Basically Neil Patrick Harris (NPH) also known as Doogie Howser, sings! This is just one short song from the whole thing, try to watch it!
Should have loads to blog about, like the mental health art exhibition, the plays i watched lately and reviews.
But to keep it simple, God has been good, taught me a lot. Best teaching for the week - The greatest people can fail us, God won't.
Got home from mission trip briefing =)
it's so close! Getting excited!
Baby steps for bigger things to come.
God, i place everything at your feet.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Clementine: Hi, I'm Clementine, can I have a piece of chicken?
Joel: Then you just took it. It was so intimate. It was like we were already lovers.
Generally i felt the 1st act was still the better half among the two. But i think i like to bring about a few more points about the message they are trying to convey via the play.
Joel: If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know.
One of the points i totally agree with is how the world views love, as some of us know, love has been distorted since age of old, such as the incident of Sodom and Gomorrah. Devil has used the world standards of love and lure people into his webs of deceit and lies, the never ending spun of his vicious thread that tie people up into forever chasing after a love that cannot endure. One of the play deals with this, a perfectly normal guy walks up and was slowly transformed into something he was not, into something the world wants. It's all good, for awhile, concealing is hard, takes up too much energy and in the end, lies will always be uncovered. I say be proud of who God made you to be, if girls or guys cannot love you for who God made you out to be, i say to they are not worth your love after all! Someone out there will appreciate you, if God says you're ready, then be ready to meet someone to know for the rest of your life. Don't let the world corrupt you with it's dirt and smoke that blinds people to the truth, never ever let the world destroy this crazy little thing called love.
Joel: Yeah Tangerine?
Clementine: Am I ugly?
Clementine: When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too.
Joel: [kisses Clementine] You're pretty.
Clementine: Joely, don't ever leave me.
Joel: You're pretty... you're pretty... pretty...
Second point is that never assume, guys and girls are different, if it wasn't obvious enough, we already have one less bone in our body. Two plays dealt with this, one a comedic approach, another a drama approach, both did excellent. Its just to show that some people aren't the way we make them out to be, that words hurt, words hurt deep and lasting. Can you truly forgive another without remembering it sometime in the future? Mostly no, no no no.
Communication is the way to go, talk to your loved ones, never too late, never too early to start. Put down your pride and talk as if its the last day on earth. Often we assume that the others should know what we think, and that often lead to unhappy endings. Why assume when we can clarify? It takes a lil more effort, but worth more than the teardrops and scars battled into your heart.
[Joel calls Clem on the telephone]
Clementine: What took you so long?
Joel: I just walked in.
Clementine: Do you miss me?
Joel: Oddly enough, I do!
Clementine: You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married!
Joel: I guess so!
Love keeps no record. True, often we find ourselves remembering things that people ought to or ought not to do for us, to us. For what? If Jesus kept every record of our wrongdoings, would we stand? Would He bothered to die on the cross? Do so with people, as much as we bear grudge, and yes i admit, i too do that, and for obvious reasons, you give and give but never receiving, can be disheartening, discouraging, feeling unloved, feeling dejected. But store up treasures in Heaven, love thy neighbor, Easier said than done, but if you can try hard enough to love unconditionally, God will know and in due time, whatever you don't receive here on earth, you will in Heaven as recorded in Book of Hebrews. Don't keep scores, life's too short a lifetime to play catch up or balance the ledger.
Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.
Relationships, among families or lovers, needs effort, constant effort. No man is an island. Dare to love and be loved. Yes, hurts and cries will be present, no denying that, but nothing worth having comes easy. If you can, remember all the happy times versus the sad times, does the happy times not outweigh the sad times? Remember how God will be sad too, remember sometimes He allow things to happen for a reason we sometimes don't comprehend. Love is not a happy thing all the time, but if you try, it can be more than you give it credit for.
Clementine: You know me, I'm impulsive.
Joel: That's what I love about you.
Footstool players really was great, top notch acting and professionally done, i was moved a few times, as i felt the emotional struggle portrayed in the play, the vividness seems too real, and it makes you think what the heck you doing on earth? Are we not all born of the human race? Then why are we still self-centered when so many are hurting out there? To quote, "Life is short, death is sure, Jesus the cure." How would people who have not heard of Jesus be cured of their hurts when you are here hanging around with only Christians, and among your own gang you selfishly exploit each other, creating trouble in your own territory? Repent! Solace you can find among your friends and God, but where does it come from those whom you are hanging around with but know not of Jesus? Are their blood on your hands?
Clementine: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.
Joel: I just needed to see you.
Joel: I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.
Clementine: You're married.
Joel: Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.
Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.
The 2nd half was as still - emo. But this time round i sat upfront and got to see the actors expressions, especially during their monologues. And i was impressed, the unwaivering in-depth character role-playing, the emotional tone used in their words, the watery eyes, the picture they painted, though emo, i must admit it was good, top notch. I was moved even more in my decision on life. Thank You Lord Jesus.
Mary: How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.
Footstool players i applaud you and your efforts, i am really interested to join now, though i heard that getting in is hard and training is hard too. Haha, if God leads, maybe i go join =)
God, teach me to love as You have, teach me to accept those that You bring to me. teach me patience, teach me joy, teach me to be like Your Son Jesus. Teach me to love, for if i have not, i gained nothing, i am nothing. Amen.
Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed to. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...
1 Corinthians 13
Love1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Last Sunday, a couple of us went and watch a Footstool Players Production called Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Guess Focus on the Family sorta asked them to do something along relationship among families and boy girl.
And with a strong great cast (been following them for years now), and a more subtle Christian approach with this production, i must say i came out feeling somewhat with mixed feelings.
They always have been awesome for their past productions, with their strong Christian theme provoking your thoughts and getting the message across clearly and strongly. This time around, i guess its the whole Love theme.
The first half was awesome, many funny moments, very logical and somewhat portrays the boy girl relationship thing very nicely and with funny outtakes and a poke at the realities of being in a relationship. It somewhat made me think that the way the world defines love is often misleading and self-seeking, but in the whole sense, its unselfish, its sacrificial and often than not, unreturned.
But thats what makes life interesting, if not for love, would God even bother about us?
And when you do find that someone, won't it be a million times better than when you tried but found no one?
The 2nd half was the one that gave me mixed feelings, i understand why they have to put it in such a way, but EMO plays?!?!?!?!?! SHOOT ME!
Wait, ok unfair, i must give them credit for good acting and nice script, yet it somehow felt cliche and the message was already conveyed from the start, but have to sit thru about 10 minutes of a play which you've already known the message is for me, less comfortable, tears weren't poured out, because there are sadder stories out there.
Sadly, if the emo-ing can be mixed with occasional laughter and some comic relief, i would have gave it 3 thumbs up, if only i have 3 thumbs.
But i would say its pretty good, the first half was a step up from previous productions, the 2nd half was alright.
Catch it! Something to provoke your mind if you've been watching the idiot box for too long and your brain is at its all time low capacity.
Tomorrow and Sunday it'll be at SIBKL, and they'll perform at BLC too.
click the link, find out their location, go, its free. or you can wait for the higher end production of the same play at KLPAC.
Love is crazy. It drives people crazy, its crazy to pursue.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Step by step he approaches the enemy.
The full moon glowing, the eyes of the stars gazing upon a murderous intent of a cold blooded bastard.
The hidden blade unsheathed, his eyes turned red, his blood pumping, one more step, and the prey will breathe no more.
The enemy looks back, as if staring death in the face, without movement, without words, as if he saw who was behind him, but not retaliating nor fleeing. The assassin, still as a pole, seeking an opportune time to place the blade where it belongs - the heart of his prey.
Still the enemy looks intently and whisper softly into the wind, the assassin could not make out the words. Dawn was drawing nigh, the strike must be now! Without much hesitation the assassin thrust his blade into the enemy.
Glass shattered, no scream was heard. Only owls responded by making awkward noises.
As the sun peeks through the horizon, the assassin opens his eyes widely, the enemy lay there, shattered. A mirror, a reflection, the assassin gasped in horror, fell to his knees, wept a silent tear, fearing of who he became, fearing the label, fearing what the world made him. Fearing what he was to the point that he could not bear the sight of himself. Solitude he known, solitude now owns him.
Now the blade resides in his chest. No bard will sing of him, the will of the world was too strong. There he met his end - peace.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
None of both which i know it goes
Divided in both heart and thoughts
Which one i should go and the other not
Could one lead to a green tall hill?
With flowers and cuddly creatures in it fills
Where peace and harmony running like streams
Where your dwelling shines with a radiant beam
Or could one lead to a gloomy way?
Where darkness lurks and silence stays?
Where all seem hopeless and lost
And you'd think this is the end of your course
Drowning in the river of dilemma
I could really stay like this forever
Oh God why am i in this situation
Lost in the desert of my own confusion
Will You not lead my days?
And right the errors in my ways?
'Yes I will,' says my Lord
'But not like the way thats in your thought.'
'Instead this I will do,'
'Take this, my son, this useful tool.'
So a little lamp He handed to me
Nothing fancy nor great in what i see
When lit it shone a small humble light
Just enough to put a foot's length in sight
Little by little, one small step after another
It led my way further and further
Though my path is long and hard
But now i have a light with me that will never depart
One thing for sure that i know
With this lamp I'll eventually reach my goal
Then I'll hand back the lamp to my Father
And He'll lead me to a place like no other
A place where true peace dwells
Where all is good and all is well
And I'll live with my Father where time knows no end
And truly,at last,from the bottom of my heart, smile once again.
July 18 2005 3:03 am
Monday, October 13, 2008
After 4 - 5 months down the road, with many events following one after another, i realized what i really want to do, and i pray God approves.
Yesterday's sermon in church was all too heart-piercing, something i kept asking God for in my church, for i felt the sermons were too light, God hit home, it hit hard, hard that i doubt my entrance to heaven.
The speaker used 21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' - Matthew 7:21-23
He argued and said that Christians who call themselves Christians may not even be real Christians after all.
So we have accomplished much in the name of Christ, we used His name, we claim to be living the life of a true Christian, but when trialled through fire, can we stand? What is the will of God? to be uprooted and go forth? To give up on our dreams? To turn our backs on the world and walk as Paul and the prophets did?
I knew i wasn't there, not even halfway, complacency took over, life has been good, and i like it to remain good. Good for me, a safe haven, where i can go through life and end up where i want to go.
But then again, what am i doing? Where am i heading? Am i on the right track? I say no. No, enough is enough. Time to do something, time to kick old habit, time to move on from guilty to blameless before God. Time for God. Time.
For the past few years been swayed to work and gain money, provide security for family. But to what end? People say that we will end up in cubicles regardless of how much we resist it. Routine life is dead. For me at least.
I decided what I want to do. God willing that it will be in His will and when i die, He welcomes me with open arms instead of condemning me to eternal darkness and flames for the devil and his angels.
Past 4 - 5 months, death has been lurking around in corners, preying on ones near me. Recently a good friend's mom passed away, moved by tears by her compassion and love for God, i felt ashamed, i felt as if the past 22 years i have wasted it in vain.
Recently another friend's dad passed away, again it hit me that life was short, unpredictable, Jesus second advent was coming to pass, but no one will know when, and if we are not prepared, where will we go? What will He say?
I recently found out one of my favorite Christian singer songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman adopted daughter passed away. ( Article and videos here: http://michellemalkin.com/2008/05/22/maria-sue-chapman-rip-2003-2008/
More to be found on Youtube)
Again moved to tears by the tragic news though it escaped my notice when it happen whilst i was sick and down.
This is a different kind of emo-ing. Well, time to buck up, time is running out. I fear death take control of me before i accomplish what i have to.
Where have all the good years gone? Where?
Where were the years where Christianity was the only thing i ever talk about?
Why growing up have to be this hard?
God, hasten Thy hand to rescue me.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Most seems about themselves and stuff they going thru, almost seem selfish, but who am i to judge?
Interestingly, i found one BSF question to be quite intriguing.
i paraphrase: If you knew that the end of the world is at the end of the year, what would you do about the time you have left?
Very very interestingly, people in my group answered like ( i wasn't qualified to answer because i missed last weeks lesson):
- I would sell everything and preach the word! then maybe enjoy a little.
- I would follow God to everywhere and do my best to do His will!
- Quit my job and follow God
Hope you seeing my point, does it really have to take the end of the world to make you quit your job to follow God? To follow His will? To repent? Why can't it be now?
Quote Daughtry "What about now? What about today?"
I don't get it, if you can see it now, why not do it? What is so important in this world that as long as it survives you are bound to it? Then God's freedom for us is rendered useless.
I'm learning too.
Sigh, ok i should emo about my life also la, since all other blogs does it.
Ok, lets see...
er.. i.. have, erm, this.. thing, life actually, er, not going well, i mean, i cant decide what camera to buy... so i feel hopeless, wanna kill myself... er.. i wish the sky would fall, then the earth plunge into darkness, and er... then i would find myself and be... me..
Forget it la...
stupid emo post.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Irritating, can't immediately fall asleep,
though it helps me keep awake during sermons, like when i fall asleep then i cough and i'll be awake for a couple more seconds.
It gets better, then it gets worse, then better, then worse.
Like a sick cycle carousel.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
I don't know why i go out. Wait I do, but that's not the point!
But been playing more sports since the 3 on 3 basketball tourney last sat, and glad to say it rekindled my passion for playing again. Plus I gotta shed some fats, and pack in more packs to make me look good, okok, no, just no, don't comment on what i just type. Darn it.
Been more outgoing (yay?), meeting people is kinda fun, especially people you usually don't associate with much, because it just seems weird, but just got home from football with bunch of junior ex-seaportians (my former high school), and they were kinda cool, kinda sort of reconciled with one, whom didn't really have a good history with my circle of friends, i'm pointinng at you Mr. Ong, haha, kidding, actually not, erm, just thought it'd be great that as bro's and sis' in Christ we can fellowship as equals.
These past two weeks, i learned that the world is more than superficial, it really is a hellhole on earth, passing by many people on the roads, that i could safely assume didn't hear once about Christ, and what do we do? Indulge in things that we adorn ourselves with, making big deal of other churches who are in conflict with what we practice. Petty petty stuff, if a kingdom is divided among itself, how will it stand?
Argh, the bliss of balancing life and priorities.
Here i present you happier times whence days were much simpler and minds were much childlike:
Lagi cannot remember, two years ago also i think, back when my powershot A80 still alive and kicking, plus my Do You Hear The People Sing t-shirt looks newer than it is now =p
On another note: I think i'm gonna settle for Sony Alpha 300 entry level DSLR as my first DSLR camera! Yay!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Played 3 on 3, totally unfit, lost 2 rounds, and we decided to call it quits and head for lunch! SUPER hungry hahaha
Then the following days were met with sleepiness due to lack of sleep, duh, ps3 with friend at wee hours of the morning, followed by church then 1u outing to meet friend who came back from public uni. Tiring tiring.
No, not emo!
Monday had farewell for Paul, aiyo, he left couple hours ago, sad la! another friend left, been a great blessing la he, will miss him and hope he will do well in his future endeavors.
Today really really tired, went basketball, but legs gave way, went home slept like mad.
Then WJS took 2 of us out to KL jalan alor to makan, the living statue guy (from my earlier posts) was present to! so cool la he, really darn cool lor.
Ate kau kau, also spent kau kau ler
Then went pavillion walk walk, first time there for me, so jakun ler
then had gelato!
Then bangsar for a drink hehe
tiring tiring, but good fellowship.