Err

For the first time in a long time, i spent the weekend at home, mostly to myself, not stepping out of the house.
It was easy to do because family was away, friends were either working or busy.

The morning was great - caught up on some tv shows, light reading and casual surfing.

The afternoon was more of nailing some things which people consider a waste of time down like gaming and napping.

Nights were the best, the cool air visited, rain fell and lights were dimmed, chose to turn in early (usually i push till my last ounce of strength before i collapse and sleep) and i could hear my thoughts running wildly, putting thoughts into perspectives, string of words into coherent sentences, pictures into portraits of stories.

This was what i missed.

During schooldays, that was what i used to do. And i think at that point i was more clear minded.

Now, cynical, aging, quick to pass judgment, lost, confused.

At least not pretentious?

At least not pretentious.

Sometimes the only thing that kills me is the eyes of the woman who bore me for nine months.

That stare of disappointment, the gaze of what she hopes of me but i refuse to comply.

It's raining now.

It's fucking raining now.

And i like.