Flipside

2nd time I've been to church since a year ago.

Still the same. Having mixed feelings about it.

I realized I never had a buddy who stood around long enough to watch my rise and fall (and hopefully an eventual rise again). A few of them are taken away by circumstances. While some remained but are caught up in their own routine to actually listen.

Nobody's fault, I've haven't been around for a lot of people. And when people tell me I'm a good friend, I doubted it.

Eventually we all move on. And tonight was a good night. My good friend came back from overseas and was pushing the right button.

All you need sometimes is one nudge.

Ideals

I was younger, maybe 18, or was it 17.

Head filled with ideals, what a perfect world should be, how we should run the world.

It was good times, albeit slightly impractical.

I remembered we'd said we build a church, using a factory lot, deprived of air conditioning and comfy seats, in exchange for just pure presence of the people to worship God. But the person who said it, has gone to marry and settled down in another country.

I remembered we'd give to the poor every now and then. But all of us forgotten and left that behind.

I remember a lot of things, things that either bear no weight now, or have been unintentionally forgotten.

But as we grew up, things like responsibilities, practicality, reality falls onto us like a crashing rain. Things we never thought would befall us befell us, and now grip us, choking the ideals out of us.

Us, maybe it's just me.

Faced with temporary unemployment, an aging body and a cynical outlook, ideals seems to be the least of my concerns.

--

After almost a year, i stepped back into a church, this church was a church i have not previously attended on any given Sundays, so i went, and surprise surprise, nothing's changed, not to me anyway, the people were still nice, songs were still sung.

What was i looking for? Why must it be different? So i'm different? I've changed.

I've strayed. For how far and how long? I have no answer to that.

Morally Bankrupt

With the power of the internet, a lot of people are voicing their opinions online. Whether with merit or not, the public still inevitably gets influenced by it.

I think one of the main problems (apart from all the good stuff it gave us like freedom of speech, a lil bit of transparency etc) is that we're defined by it.

Like it or not, there are just too many people in this world, we cannot be bothered to properly know each and every one before we make an evaluation on their being.

If one person keeps advocating social responsibility and what not, they'll label this person a saint, while others will also find fault with that person.

A person puts off indie music and will be judged as extremist, pretentious or having real taste in music.

With all this going on globally, it's no wonder the real crux of the problem remains hidden, like someone posting up a sad update, immediately we either say "what's up?" or think to ourselves "c'mon, not again?"

I still think nothing beats a human torch, correct, i agree, with internet, we voice out more, but remember we take our information too lightly, with one thing in mind that i've always reminded myself of is..

Information is power.

With information, you can crush or destroy, create and bless.

We should be wary of what we post, even if it merits the truth, we should always study the facts first.

That being said, a lil update on my life:

I am going to have a slight change in my life, as i venture out of desk job to a sales job.

Hoping that this is what i will find passion in before i kick in my long term plans.

Apart from that,helping a friend prepare a wedding is quite fun, the people involved are one of the more bubbly bunch and it's quite a refreshing take from the other circle of friends.

Bus Stop

Waiting.

Live involves a lot of waiting. Be it waiting to go to school, waiting to get off school, waiting to go to sleep after a long day. Waiting for the weekends to come, waiting for pay day, waiting for that special someone to turn up in your life.

Waiting for a miracle, waiting for the war to stop, waiting for a loved one in a bus terminal.

Waiting.

In between waiting, we will do something. Often small things to carry us through, to help us achieve the goals we want to achieve.

Some see waiting as an opportunity to do every thing else - travel, read a book, meet up with friends, have fun, get drunk, go pray etc. But ultimately we're waiting.

On the flip side, you have death waiting for you, waiting to rob you of your life, your last breath, your loved ones, your sight, taste, smell etc.

So what do we do before then? We would not know how long we would have to wait before death finally caves and come to knock on our doors.

The real peril would be what if we do not know that we're waiting? We think we have a lot of time - time to get promoted, time to date before marriage, time to grow old, time to do every thing else but live?

I have a friend who cannot stand waiting idly, she has to be somewhere everywhere or always getting busy.

I have a friend waiting to get married.

I have a friend waiting to get out of a job.

Every one is waiting.

I am waiting.

We're constantly on a bus that keeps dropping us so another bus will come by.

While we wait, let's wait moving forward, not looking back.

Zebra

When art thou appearing?

When will this wait end?