Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Crystallized

Around a year ago, i was in Thailand with two friends having an awesome experience doing missions and enjoying the culture and cheap food there.

Around a year ago, i was struggling with thesis, trying to get participants, getting 15 laptops to run at the exact same time and at the exact same functions.

Around a year ago, i went to ipoh and taiping, feeling miserable over a girl, whom i cared too much for.

Around two years ago, i was bedridden for at least a month due to imbalanced fluid within the ear.

Around two years ago, good friends came to celebrate my birthday though i was sick and was impaired in speech.

Around two years ago, a childhood friend's mom was cremated, and for the first time, i hear my friend cry.

Around three years ago, i was in Malacca with my closest friends, having the time of our life.

Around three years ago, my sister had my college mates pooled in for a mp4 player for my birthday.

Around three years ago, i went for CF camp and made friends with people whom i am still friends with.

Around four years ago, i was in penang with my high school mates, chilling and awaiting university entrances results.

Around four years ago, i broke up with a girl.

Around four years ago, i begun a new life in university, hoping to write a new tale, a new beginning.

Around five years ago, i was worrying about STPM and struggling even to pass my subjects.

Around five years ago, i was still a hard rock Jesus freak.

Around five years ago, i was different.

Now, i am working, in a company which feels a lot like high school, or i feel like i am being the me i was back in high school, afraid, fear of failing, falling short.

Now, friends are flying off, i am happy for them, friends came back, i am overjoyed even though it isn't the same between us anymore, friends is going to come back, i do not know what to expect.

Now, far away from God, far away from church, resentful, cynical, dissatisfied, i don't know how i ended up here. People say go back to God, i don't know how.

Everyday is a struggle to keep dreams alive, a struggle to not do things i will regret.

I am thankful to be alive. Life is interesting.

3 comments:

michelle said...

there's always be a silver lining and a path leading home...don't give up lordy-boy, the best is yet to come! =)

-L- said...

Hey ya, thanks :)
I do hope the best is coming, and for you too, i have a good feeling you'll be happier by the time this year ends :D

siehjin said...

"people say go back to God, i don't know how"

sit down and pray
just be honest before God (He knows everything anyway)
tell Him you're sorry
that you want to come back to Him but don't know how
ask Him to help you
He will.

He surely will.