It was like in the story books, or those you see in the television.
Sometimes i would just sit in the living room staring at it, thinking it's all good. Life was good.
It wasn't a family tradition, it's not every year we have a tree, could be we forgot about it, or we don't care enough to put it, or simply no money.
Life was alright, with or without the tree.
This year, i came back home two days ago, and saw this mini Christmas tree my family has put up, with lights and small present. All of it sitting on top of a coffee table.
But something isn't right, or wasn't normal.
Life.
We've changed. Time has not been so merciful upon us after all. What a pity.
Pity indeed.
It used to be the world was safe, i could run back to my mom and everything will be normal.
Didn't care where money came from. Didn't care if there was going to be a celebration.
Just like to be home, in my cozy room.
But now, work beckons, we've got extra family members, the need to be out with others to enjoy so to not to waste a good weekend.
It seems to have been reversed.
My aging parents are now older, more fragile, less energetic, retired.
While i am taking over the role to help provide for the money.
The world is more hostile than before.
Dreams slowly fading with the passing of time.
The tree seems smaller now, the room not as cozy as before.
Used to be innocent carols, laughter and food.
Now cynical, manipulative and silly.
The friends i once knew disapproved of the changes.
The other friends i know became another entity.
All that really left is still this tree.
And sadly, i've realized how much i've distanced myself from everything everyone. Living in a shell pretending to know where i am going or what i am doing, but all i really am, is shit scared inside.
I should put out my share and put some presents under the tree.
I sat there watching these lights,
Thinking, pondering, contemplating, sighing,
I came upon a conclusion,
I am still but a child.
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